Friday, November 14, 2003
Adventure Mag Scan...Best of Outside: Every month (okay, whenever I feel like it) The Wetass Chronicles will take a look at the online offerings of the adventure mags. Usually, issues are put online about a month after publication (when the newest issue hits the newsstand), and I'll focus on the stuff that arrives online...so I can provide links (and you can read it for free). The November 2003 issue of Outside is now available online, and its got some great stuff for climbing and adventure addicts.
The cover story about K2 elaborates on a theme that TWC and the ExplorersWeb have already written about: namely that K2 is a bitch--much deadlier and harder to climb than Everest. But author Kevin Fedarko--who's a vivid and nimble writer--digs into the history and quirks of K2 in detail that is both gruesome and enthralling. Here he is on one of K2s grizzlier oddities:
We started up the Godwin-Austen Glacier, which cuts along the foundation of the mountain's immense southern face. As we walked, Jordan told me about the postmortem K2 performs on the climbers who perish here. The ridges and escarpments of this peak are so sheer that the dead are rarely entombed on the mountain itself; most are scoured off by avalanches and rockfalls, and when their bodies hit bottom they become encased in the glacial field, where they are slowly torn to pieces.
"It's kind of like a bread mixer," Jordan observed as we picked our way around thin crevasses and frigid pools of Windex-blue meltwater. "The worst of the violence is the avalanches, but there are also the years of tearing and crushing in the glaciers. The movement churns them up in summer, back down in winter. Appendages get torn off in the disgorging process. When they surface, they're almost all headless, because that's the weakest link in the body. Mostly you find legs--very few arms."
Fedarko also writes in detail about the famous 1953 American attempt to climb K2 (it failed, but in spectacularly dramatic fashion). Check it out.
An American Team Didn't Get To the Top Until 1978: "I can believe it took so long to clim this fu*$ing mountain...."
(Photo: Jim Wickwire via Outside)
Also: Greg Child, an excellent climber/writer, has a short piece on a heated controversy over uber-climber Reinhold Messner's forthcoming book account of how he lost his brother Gunther, after summitting Nanga Parbat in 1970:
"The epic that ensued--Gunther and Reinhold's two-day descent down uncharted territory, Gunther's June 29 disappearance in a reported avalanche, and Reinhold's frantic search of the debris field and grief-stricken escape through the Diamir Valley, is the defining experience of Reinhold Messner's life, and it's described in his 40th book, The Naked Mountain, to be published for the first time in English in November by The Mountaineers Books. What U.S. readers may not hear about is the firestorm that the German edition sparked in Europe. In books written as direct rebuttals to The Naked Mountain, two members of the expedition claim that Messner's story is a whitewash of the truth--that he abandoned his brother on the peak."
It's an incredible accusation, if true. Cain and Abel at 8,000 meters......
Young Messner (center) on Parbat: "Hmmmm, what's it going to take for me to get famous on this peak....."
(Photo: Reinhold Messner via Outside)
The cover story about K2 elaborates on a theme that TWC and the ExplorersWeb have already written about: namely that K2 is a bitch--much deadlier and harder to climb than Everest. But author Kevin Fedarko--who's a vivid and nimble writer--digs into the history and quirks of K2 in detail that is both gruesome and enthralling. Here he is on one of K2s grizzlier oddities:
We started up the Godwin-Austen Glacier, which cuts along the foundation of the mountain's immense southern face. As we walked, Jordan told me about the postmortem K2 performs on the climbers who perish here. The ridges and escarpments of this peak are so sheer that the dead are rarely entombed on the mountain itself; most are scoured off by avalanches and rockfalls, and when their bodies hit bottom they become encased in the glacial field, where they are slowly torn to pieces.
"It's kind of like a bread mixer," Jordan observed as we picked our way around thin crevasses and frigid pools of Windex-blue meltwater. "The worst of the violence is the avalanches, but there are also the years of tearing and crushing in the glaciers. The movement churns them up in summer, back down in winter. Appendages get torn off in the disgorging process. When they surface, they're almost all headless, because that's the weakest link in the body. Mostly you find legs--very few arms."
Fedarko also writes in detail about the famous 1953 American attempt to climb K2 (it failed, but in spectacularly dramatic fashion). Check it out.
An American Team Didn't Get To the Top Until 1978: "I can believe it took so long to clim this fu*$ing mountain...."
(Photo: Jim Wickwire via Outside)
Also: Greg Child, an excellent climber/writer, has a short piece on a heated controversy over uber-climber Reinhold Messner's forthcoming book account of how he lost his brother Gunther, after summitting Nanga Parbat in 1970:
"The epic that ensued--Gunther and Reinhold's two-day descent down uncharted territory, Gunther's June 29 disappearance in a reported avalanche, and Reinhold's frantic search of the debris field and grief-stricken escape through the Diamir Valley, is the defining experience of Reinhold Messner's life, and it's described in his 40th book, The Naked Mountain, to be published for the first time in English in November by The Mountaineers Books. What U.S. readers may not hear about is the firestorm that the German edition sparked in Europe. In books written as direct rebuttals to The Naked Mountain, two members of the expedition claim that Messner's story is a whitewash of the truth--that he abandoned his brother on the peak."
It's an incredible accusation, if true. Cain and Abel at 8,000 meters......
Young Messner (center) on Parbat: "Hmmmm, what's it going to take for me to get famous on this peak....."
(Photo: Reinhold Messner via Outside)
Pre-Weekend Sailing Update--VDH, TJV...LBJ, JFK (oops, got carried away): "Wrong Way" Jean Luc Van Den Heede (phew, I'll stick with VDH) is cruising south in the trades, which are a bit weak and a bit slow. He's in fine form, though, and still about 126 miles ahead of current record holder Philippe Monnet's comparative track.
Sacre Bleu, Eeet Eeez A Long Way to Go: Monnet is in blue, VDH is in red......
And in the Transat Jacques Vabre the leading trimaran is already through the Doldrums and into the southeast trades, blasting toward Brazil. The Doldrums are a tortuous zone that straddles the Equator, full of either windless holes or knockdown squalls. For shorthanded sailors it is a nightmare because they have to get full sail up when the wind dies, but be ready at a moment's notice to take it all down if a squall approaches. If the monohullers are slow, they can get a good dunking as the boat is blown flat to the water. If multihullers are slow, they can get a permanent dunking because they'll be upside down and out of the race. Here's how Open 60 monohull ECOVER's Brian Thompson describes the night:
"Last night [co-skipper] Mike [Golding] and I took turns to drive whilst the other one slept and if we saw a cloud approaching weÂd wake the other one up to come up on deck. The clouds have killed the wind a bit really, we've had a few sprinkles of rain, nothing dramatic though. That's good for us as we don't have such a big sail wardrobe anymore. We need to keep a real eye out, though, until daylight, as we have no radar working and the worst time is the first half of the night up to midnight when there is no moon and you can't spot the squalls. The second half, the moon is up, which means you can see the cloud line better. We did see Biscuits La Trinitaine [an Open 60 trimaran] sail past us, which was surreal!"
Once all the boats are through the Doldrums and into the Southern Hemisphere, they'll catch a fast ride all the way to Brazil, on strong trade winds south of the Equator. That part of the race often turns into a parade with few passing opportunities. So the Doldrums is the last chance to really shake up fleet positions......
Fast Cruising: What the Trimarans Would like to Be Doing.....
(Photo: Transat Jacques Vabre)
Sacre Bleu, Eeet Eeez A Long Way to Go: Monnet is in blue, VDH is in red......
And in the Transat Jacques Vabre the leading trimaran is already through the Doldrums and into the southeast trades, blasting toward Brazil. The Doldrums are a tortuous zone that straddles the Equator, full of either windless holes or knockdown squalls. For shorthanded sailors it is a nightmare because they have to get full sail up when the wind dies, but be ready at a moment's notice to take it all down if a squall approaches. If the monohullers are slow, they can get a good dunking as the boat is blown flat to the water. If multihullers are slow, they can get a permanent dunking because they'll be upside down and out of the race. Here's how Open 60 monohull ECOVER's Brian Thompson describes the night:
"Last night [co-skipper] Mike [Golding] and I took turns to drive whilst the other one slept and if we saw a cloud approaching weÂd wake the other one up to come up on deck. The clouds have killed the wind a bit really, we've had a few sprinkles of rain, nothing dramatic though. That's good for us as we don't have such a big sail wardrobe anymore. We need to keep a real eye out, though, until daylight, as we have no radar working and the worst time is the first half of the night up to midnight when there is no moon and you can't spot the squalls. The second half, the moon is up, which means you can see the cloud line better. We did see Biscuits La Trinitaine [an Open 60 trimaran] sail past us, which was surreal!"
Once all the boats are through the Doldrums and into the Southern Hemisphere, they'll catch a fast ride all the way to Brazil, on strong trade winds south of the Equator. That part of the race often turns into a parade with few passing opportunities. So the Doldrums is the last chance to really shake up fleet positions......
Fast Cruising: What the Trimarans Would like to Be Doing.....
(Photo: Transat Jacques Vabre)
Thursday, November 13, 2003
Annals of Inanity--Kill a Shark, Any Shark: Strange footnote to the Bethany Hamilton shark attack story. The LA Times reports that Hamilton is recovering well from losing an arm to a tiger shark off Kauai, which is good to hear. The attack predictably led to a public outcry in favor of slaughtering any sharks that could be found in the area. That didn't happen, which is also good to hear, because the National Marine Fisheries Service has adopted a shrewd preemptive strategy to placate all the idiots:
"In the past, after a serious incident, we have selectively removed an animal or two mostly to reassure the public, but also to keep fishermen from going out and killing a lot more," said John Naughton, a biologist for the National Marine Fisheries Service. "But we have known all along that this is not the way to go. It's an archaic way of managing fishery resources."
I guess you could say it's a good deal: kill a few to save a lot. But you could also say that public emotion is an ugly, unreasoning beast. Hawaii averages only about 4 shark attacks a year. More people probably die falling off bar stools, and shark populations are still trying to recover from the sharkocide sparked by "Jaws".....
Tiger Shark: "It wasn't me, I swear.... And if it was I thought I was eating a seal......"
"In the past, after a serious incident, we have selectively removed an animal or two mostly to reassure the public, but also to keep fishermen from going out and killing a lot more," said John Naughton, a biologist for the National Marine Fisheries Service. "But we have known all along that this is not the way to go. It's an archaic way of managing fishery resources."
I guess you could say it's a good deal: kill a few to save a lot. But you could also say that public emotion is an ugly, unreasoning beast. Hawaii averages only about 4 shark attacks a year. More people probably die falling off bar stools, and shark populations are still trying to recover from the sharkocide sparked by "Jaws".....
Tiger Shark: "It wasn't me, I swear.... And if it was I thought I was eating a seal......"
TWC Photo Archives: LA just got whacked by a storm cell that dumped 5 inches of rain and lit up the sky. It was quite a show....
God is in the Gigavolts....
(Photo: Mel Melcon / LAT)
God is in the Gigavolts....
(Photo: Mel Melcon / LAT)
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Annals of Extremism--Cliff Jumping The ski season is approaching. Are you bored with gliding down groomed cruiser runs? Want to try something a little different this year? Something that will get the blood racing, the wind roaring, the intestines knotting...and the bones breaking? How about skiing off a cliff....a big cliff....a really, really big cliff. Skiing magazine is not so sure the rush for big air is good for the sport, but that doesn't make its take on cliff jumping or its whacked-out addicts any less interesting. We get to meet a surly, 30-year old, egomaniac named Jamie Pierre, who launches off a 160-foot cliff near Brighton in Utah, and pulls off a cartwheel on the way down. Pierre sticks the landing but suffers a concussion-induced seizure 15 minutes later. "I've averaged at least one concussion per year since the early '90s," Pierre tells [Skiing's reporter]. He seldom wears a helmet: "If it's a matter of my body going instantly from terminal velocity to zero, a helmet isn't gonna help much." Uhhh, okay, Jamie. At least Pierre has managed to avoid the fate of a Tahoe bartender named Paul Ruff...so far. Ruff famously splattered himself in 1993 attempting a world record, also with a 160-footer. As he skied toward the edge his subconscious started screaming, not unreasonably: "My God, man, are you stark, raving insane??!!" The result was a little hesitation turn that slowed Ruff down just before he went airborne, and that in turn was just enough to keep him from clearing a pile of volcanic rock close to the base of the cliff. Oops. Pierre plans to try for a world record, too. Unfortunately, the world record has been upped a little since Ruff's tragic last leap--by a New Zealander named Paul Ahern, who in 1995 managed to survive an unbelievable...225 foot jump (he landed on wind-packed snow with a backpack full of styrofoam to cushion the blow). Pierre has got his eye on a 235-foot spot on the backside of Grand Targhee. Skiing asks him how he survives each ever-increasing jump. "I stomp my skis into the snow, double click my poles together, and say a Hail Mary," he says. Oh, now I see. Umm, good luck with that, then.
"Our Father, who art in heaven....."
(Photo: Skiing magazine)
"Our Father, who art in heaven....."
(Photo: Skiing magazine)
Shekhdar Southern Ocean Row Update--GACK!: Our boy Jim is making steady progress despite a few mechanical hiccups. The worst problem he has, in fact, is a case of Early Onset Stinkfoot. "Started fine 10-15kt W to WNW cloudy then fine - so much so that I took advantage and rowed for an hour naked - to get a little less smelly - it worked but found that the main source of the smelly cabin is the insoles from my wellies!" This is a devilish and age-old voyaging problem that modern technology has yet to solve. The colder it gets the more relief Shekhdar's nose will feel. But this is not the sort of problem that gets better over the course of a long voyage. In fact, Jim....did you pack any nose clips?
Nice progress, buddy....And in the right direction, too!
(Image: Ocean Rowing Society)
Nice progress, buddy....And in the right direction, too!
(Image: Ocean Rowing Society)
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Annals Of Inanity--Extreme Ironing: Oh, where to start? It might seem as if The Wetass Chronicles is interested exclusively in the sailing world these days. Well, I can't help it if the sailors and rowers are doing all the cool stuff at the moment. However, in an effort to reassure you that The Wetass Chronicles has global reach and will discriminate against no sport on the basis of, well, stupidity, I bring you (thanks to a tip from TWC web designer Colin McNaught) EXTREME IRONING. What is it, you may well ask? Well, I can't explain it any better than the Extreme Ironing Bureau, the web home of extreme ironers everywhere, which sums it up succinctly as: the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt. The most shocking aspect of this little fetish is that it appears to be THRIVING. You've got enthusiasts ironing on mountain tops, on beaches and in many of world's nooks and crannies. The web site in fact is running a poll, which asks readers to vote on the ultimate Extreme Ironing (EI) site. Choice 1 is the Grand Canyon. Choice 5 is Everest. Choice 6 is "There's no good location. EI sucks!" EI enthusiasts are particularly heated up (heh, heh) over the inclusion of EI in the 2004 Guinness Book of Records (though somewhat miffed that it has been placed in the "Bizarre Sports" section). Of course, The Wetass Chronicles' favorite form of EI is Extreme Underwater Ironing. How EUI works is pretty self-evident, but if you have any questions, by all means link to the handy dandy Extreme Underwater Ironing guidelines. The Brits apparently have the depth record, but the Aussies are going for the "mass underwater ironing" record, and have put out a call for underwater ironers who would like to help ("All we need is a bunch of divers, with irons, ironing boards and a desire to do something rather insane...."). Over to you, Dave Barry......
An Underwater Ironer at Work: Whatever you do, never, never plug the iron in........
(Photo: Dive-Oz Web Services)
An Underwater Ironer at Work: Whatever you do, never, never plug the iron in........
(Photo: Dive-Oz Web Services)
Monday, November 10, 2003
VDH Wrong Way Update--Finally, a Boat That's Still In One Piece: Jean Luc Van Den Heede is sailing in the wake of the TJV machines, but cruising comfortably so far in his bid to--finally--break the non-stop, round the world record. He was hit with a gale his first night out, and was unsettled to discover that fear of record-ending damage to "Adrien" was getting in the way of a good sail:
"I can’t stop thinking about the any damage that may occur, which would throw my adventure into question... And this is the first time I’ve experienced such stress. I hope that this feeling will soon disappear, as it makes the sailing less enjoyable. "
Happily, "Adrien" came through ably and VDH is much happier, and some 300 miles ahead of current record holder Philippe Monnet's track. Only 23,640 miles to go.....
VDH Riding Low: "Hmmmm, I wonder if I'm bringing too much beer......"
"I can’t stop thinking about the any damage that may occur, which would throw my adventure into question... And this is the first time I’ve experienced such stress. I hope that this feeling will soon disappear, as it makes the sailing less enjoyable. "
Happily, "Adrien" came through ably and VDH is much happier, and some 300 miles ahead of current record holder Philippe Monnet's track. Only 23,640 miles to go.....
VDH Riding Low: "Hmmmm, I wonder if I'm bringing too much beer......"
TJV Update--It Ain't Easy: The multihulls--which started four days later--are catching the monohulls, and the whole fleet is about to go into turbo drive, running downwind in the trades toward the equator. But there have been more than a few dings. Monohull Open 60 leader ECOVER is now sliding down the rankings after chafed halyards dumped one spinnaker and then a second in the water, shredding them into spaghetti. They have one spinnaker left for all the downwind running to Brazil--and a sweatshop's annual quota of sewing to recover another--which is liking racing the Indy 500 without a top gear, or spare parts in the pit. It was a nice run until now, boys....But new leader "Virbac" is over the horizon, and being chased by a shrinking fleet: top contender Bernard Stamm retired over the weekend after deciding that he couldn't sail all the way to Brazil with a chestful of broken ribs. Stamm took a nasty fall the first day out and tried to live through the pain, while keeping quiet about the injury. These guys are as tough as they come, but.....
The trimaran fleet is also living up to its fragile reputation. Italian tri "TIM" has dropped out after the hull cracked open and started taking on water. Ellen MacArthur and her co-skipper Alain Gautier had to stop in the Canaries to replace a staysail which ripped in a 45-knot squall, and their main halyard, which chafed through. "Banque Popular" is also pit stopping, thanks to damage to its port rudder. "Bonduelle" lost its central rudder after hitting a piece of wood. "Gitana" broke a stay and is heading for port. And last, but not least, "Bayer Crop Science" is starting to peel apart and also has to head in for repairs. Critics have been complaining for years that these trimaran Open 60 racing machines are built too light for real ocean sailing. And I would say the verdict is in.....Pathetic.
Sunrise from "Team Cowes": "This would make it all worth it if I wasn't so fu*#ing tired, wet and hungry....."
(Photo: Team Cowes)
The trimaran fleet is also living up to its fragile reputation. Italian tri "TIM" has dropped out after the hull cracked open and started taking on water. Ellen MacArthur and her co-skipper Alain Gautier had to stop in the Canaries to replace a staysail which ripped in a 45-knot squall, and their main halyard, which chafed through. "Banque Popular" is also pit stopping, thanks to damage to its port rudder. "Bonduelle" lost its central rudder after hitting a piece of wood. "Gitana" broke a stay and is heading for port. And last, but not least, "Bayer Crop Science" is starting to peel apart and also has to head in for repairs. Critics have been complaining for years that these trimaran Open 60 racing machines are built too light for real ocean sailing. And I would say the verdict is in.....Pathetic.
Sunrise from "Team Cowes": "This would make it all worth it if I wasn't so fu*#ing tired, wet and hungry....."
(Photo: Team Cowes)
Shekhdar Southern Ocean Update--Crash, Pow, Glub: Marathon rower Jim Shekhdar has finally stopped getting his ass kicked...at least long enough to write some e-mail updates. And it hasn't been pretty. He's in decent weather now, but spent the last three days getting hammered by gales or plowing through calms. The boat has been dumped sideways a bunch of times, and once he almost fell overboard while fiddling with his wind generator. He was saved by his harness. Here's Jim's take:
The last 3 days have been gales/storms or nothing. Top speed in a gale was 16kt!!!, fell over 8 times and total chaos in the cabins! I am warm and dryish but very reluctant to go outside at the moment. Course has been awful - driven North a lot! Haven't tried the dagger board yet, I'm falling over enough without it - very grateful for the bean bags - I sleep surrounded by them for comfort and protection!!
Yessirree, thank god for the bean bags. And he's not even in the Southern Ocean yet! Jim's 5 days in and has covered about 321 miles as the crow flies. If he survives the next 4400, he'll be at Cape Horn. This guy is definitely in the running for Wetass of the Year.....
Shekhdar Position Chart: Drunk on the 8th???
(Source: Ocean Rowing Society)
The last 3 days have been gales/storms or nothing. Top speed in a gale was 16kt!!!, fell over 8 times and total chaos in the cabins! I am warm and dryish but very reluctant to go outside at the moment. Course has been awful - driven North a lot! Haven't tried the dagger board yet, I'm falling over enough without it - very grateful for the bean bags - I sleep surrounded by them for comfort and protection!!
Yessirree, thank god for the bean bags. And he's not even in the Southern Ocean yet! Jim's 5 days in and has covered about 321 miles as the crow flies. If he survives the next 4400, he'll be at Cape Horn. This guy is definitely in the running for Wetass of the Year.....
Shekhdar Position Chart: Drunk on the 8th???
(Source: Ocean Rowing Society)
![[Valid Atom]](http://www.wetasschronicles.com/artwork/valid-atom.png "Validate my Atom feed"){kind=small}
