Friday, November 21, 2003
Obsessive Geronimo Check-In--Day 3: The sailing tracks diverge....Geronimo is in lighter winds and sailing a more direct route to the Bahamas. On PlayStation, we had to take a southerly route to stay in the fresh breezes. Our boatspeed rarely dropped below 18 knots as a result. According to my calculations, after 3 days Geronimo is about 173 miles further from the finish in San Salvador than PlayStation at the same point in our voyage. That's about 10 hours of sailing in these speed machines. Not bad....but not much of a cushion either. There's a complicated weather picture ahead, so it's going to get interesting.....(Mid-day update: Geronimo just checked in, reporting light winds and a 24-hour period of "calm" ahead. That will be torture, if true. I might start feeling sorry for these guys....)
"Bonjour, Olivier. May your vessel reek with the stench of rotting flying fish...."
"Bonjour, Olivier. May your vessel reek with the stench of rotting flying fish...."
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Annals of Ambition--Round The World Swim!? It's hard to know whether to take this seriously or not, but there is a 36-year old Brit named Robert Garside who has announced that starting next June he will start swimming...and will keep swimming, and swimming, and swimming, until he laps the planet. The total will be about 25, 000 miles and he plans to start in Greece, swim the Med, head down the coast of Africa to Morocco, across the Atlantic to Brazil, north to the Panama Canal, across to the Pacific (what will he put on his canal permit?), across the Pacific to the Galapagos, then Tahiti, and on to Australia and Indonesia--pause for breath--and finally back up to the Red Sea and into the Med via Suez (if he can get past the US Navy on the lookout for swimming terrorists). His plan is to sleep in an egg-shaped carbon fiber capsule that he will tow attached to his foot, and to swim about 6-7 hours a day--wearing a wetsuit, flippers, goggles and a snorkel. Garside expects the whole enchilada will take up to 6 years. Yup, that's years. And he says he hopes various boats and national coast guards will help deliver food and water. Err, hopes? Okay, this thing is totally insane and I love it. The only reason to give Garside any credence at all is the following: he has already circumnavigated the globe once, running 35,000 miles and burning through 50 pairs of sneakers (he was jailed in China and mugged in Panama). Yes, some critics caught him flying 800 miles from Mexico City to the US border, but give the guy a break. This has to go down as the most ambitious, insane adventure EVER announced....so I hope to hell he goes through with it.
25,000 miles?: The prune factor alone will be off the charts.....
25,000 miles?: The prune factor alone will be off the charts.....
Obssessive Geronimo Check-In--Day 2: De Kersauson lags, and the wind has gone light for the next 24 hours, holding boatspeed to around 13 knots. Heh, heh. "I speet in yore general deerection...."
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Shekhdar Southern Ocean Row--Postscript: Ever want to know what it is like to be rolled 3 times in a 26-foot rowboat, in the Southern Ocean? Jim Shekhdar got in touch with our friends at ExplorersWeb (face it...there's no place on earlth that is truly isolated) to give them a brief account of the bloody end to his ambitious rowing marathon:
"I was involved in an enormously violent pitchpole which damaged my head, neck and most importantly, the front hatch. Apart from that, everything was wiped off the top of the boat apart from the anemometer and the iridium aerial, so to have gone on would have been a little bit foolish, I think. It was a long 4 hour. I took 2 of them in the proverbial washing machine position with four-point harness and a helmet and trying to stop the blood flow from my head. Basically just going around in circles, it was quite surreal, really. I was sitting upright, the world was going around me as the boat in and rolled over."
Hard to blame the guy for calling it quits.....
"I was involved in an enormously violent pitchpole which damaged my head, neck and most importantly, the front hatch. Apart from that, everything was wiped off the top of the boat apart from the anemometer and the iridium aerial, so to have gone on would have been a little bit foolish, I think. It was a long 4 hour. I took 2 of them in the proverbial washing machine position with four-point harness and a helmet and trying to stop the blood flow from my head. Basically just going around in circles, it was quite surreal, really. I was sitting upright, the world was going around me as the boat in and rolled over."
Hard to blame the guy for calling it quits.....
Annals of Adventure--This Time It's Personal!: Right now, somewhere off the coast of Africa, there is a large--you could even say chubby--Frenchman named Olivier De Kersauson, in a large--you could even say ugly--trimaran named Geronimo, traveling at 20-30 knots. DeK and his crew of grizzled misanthropes are trying to break the east-west transatlantic record, which runs from Cadiz, Spain to San Salvador, Bahamas. This record is called the Discovery Route because it supposedly mimics the course Columbus steered to the New World (navigator that he was he thought he had arrived in Asia). Normally, I would be cheering Geronimo on. De Kersauson is a veteran record breaker, a colorful character who loves to play mind games with the rest of the sailing world, and a genuinely funny guy. But in this instance I can't. The current holder of this record is Steve Fossett and his 120-foot catamaran PlayStation, which took 9 days, 13 hours, 31 minutes and 18 seconds to make the crossing last February, at an average speed of 16,93 knots. And grinding winches, washing dishes, and trying to avoid any major injuries was yours truly. Fossett had a great crew and I rode their coattails all the way across, so the one and only world record I have--or ever will have--is the East-West Transatlantic Sailing Record (and Fossett was nice enough to send me a framed certificate in case anyone doubts it). Therefore, I sincerely hope that De Kersauson and his crew sail safely....but very, very slowly. If one of the floats fell off, or the mainsail blew up, I can't say I would be entirely unhappy. They are a bit behind our run for the moment, but we blasted out of the blocks and then slowed down toward the finish. So I'm preparing the voodoo doll and any other bad weather juju I can for the middle part of the run. Let us pray.....
Big, Bad, Geronimo: Maybe that guy will fall off the bow...that should slow 'em up.....
Big, Bad, Geronimo: Maybe that guy will fall off the bow...that should slow 'em up.....
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
TJV Update--It's Over and It Was Kind of Boring Since Sunday, the multihulls and monohulls have been streaming across the finish line in San Salvador Brazil. It was a tight tactical race in the early going, but turned into a thrill-less parade once the boats had crossed the Doldrums and the Equator. Check here for all the news and results. TWC apologizes for any damage caused to your face or keyboard due to narcoleptic seizures......
Alain Gautier Parties With Co-Skipper Ellen MacArthur and a Local: "Alors. We finished 9th so all that kept me going for the last 2000 miles was the thought of a threesome...."
(Photo: Transat Jacques Vabre)
Alain Gautier Parties With Co-Skipper Ellen MacArthur and a Local: "Alors. We finished 9th so all that kept me going for the last 2000 miles was the thought of a threesome...."
(Photo: Transat Jacques Vabre)
Southern Ocean Row Update--Shekhdar Slammed!: Well, it's over not long after it started. Yesterday, our favorite Wetass's attempt to row from New Zealand to Cape Town, via Cape Horn, came to a violent end. A nasty storm--with high winds and vicious seas--crossed paths with Jim Shekhdar and somersaulted his custom boat end for end. Here's Jim's description:
"...at about 0800 this morning (1900Z), from absolutely nowhere I was pitchpoled with horrendous force, my head tried to get out of the closed hatch, breaking off one of the two catches and I bounced back into the cabin surrounded by everything from both cabins. After stopping the blood from the head wound, several hours in the washing machine now in my 4 point harness with helmet, it was quite surreal watching the ocean go upside down outside my door! By 2350 I had taken the decision to try to get out..."
The storm was nothing unusual for the Southern Ocean, which is why Shekhdar's voyage was such a monumental odyssey, and you have to wonder why he wasn't wearing his helmet to start with (as well as whether he made any other preparations for the storm--which he had been warned about--such as deploying his sea anchor). But mostly it's a shame that such a bold, interesting, gamble is over. Shekhdar is due to be picked up by a New Zealand research vessel, and is hoping they will crane his boat aboard too. When he gets back to land, things will only get worse. "I had a lot of plans for after I made it but none for when I didn't," he laments. "I may even have to get a 'proper' job!!". Ouch. Say it ain't so, Jim...
Rock and Roll: "Damn, just as I was about to eat breakfast...."
"...at about 0800 this morning (1900Z), from absolutely nowhere I was pitchpoled with horrendous force, my head tried to get out of the closed hatch, breaking off one of the two catches and I bounced back into the cabin surrounded by everything from both cabins. After stopping the blood from the head wound, several hours in the washing machine now in my 4 point harness with helmet, it was quite surreal watching the ocean go upside down outside my door! By 2350 I had taken the decision to try to get out..."
The storm was nothing unusual for the Southern Ocean, which is why Shekhdar's voyage was such a monumental odyssey, and you have to wonder why he wasn't wearing his helmet to start with (as well as whether he made any other preparations for the storm--which he had been warned about--such as deploying his sea anchor). But mostly it's a shame that such a bold, interesting, gamble is over. Shekhdar is due to be picked up by a New Zealand research vessel, and is hoping they will crane his boat aboard too. When he gets back to land, things will only get worse. "I had a lot of plans for after I made it but none for when I didn't," he laments. "I may even have to get a 'proper' job!!". Ouch. Say it ain't so, Jim...
Rock and Roll: "Damn, just as I was about to eat breakfast...."
Monday, November 17, 2003
Annals of Hype--Bethany, Baby!: First, Jessica Lynch. Now Bethany Hamilton. America's celebrity hype machine loves blondes. According to the NY Daily News, TV producers and agents are all over the surfing 13-year old shark attack victim, dangling all sorts of deals in the race to get the first interview. Book deal? Cool. Wanna go on MTV? Cowabunga. Oprah calling? Please hold. Matt Lauer? Isn't he the Dude with the gnarly hair implants? Larry King? Who? It goes on and on. "Inside Edition" is even rumored to have offered to pay for a state-of-the-art prosthetic arm. I can just picture the scene. Arm snaps into place. Swell violins. Bethany steps on a surf board. Close-up of Mom crying. The kid just wants to surf and she needs the money, so you can't fault her for taking advantage. And I hope her agent screws the media hyena out of every cent possible. But feel free to be utterly sickened by modern American culture......
The Un-Garbo: "So, like, will I be able to keep the Hummer?"
(Photo: bethanyhamilton.com)
The Un-Garbo: "So, like, will I be able to keep the Hummer?"
(Photo: bethanyhamilton.com)
Annals of Over--Kirk Jones, Circus Freak: Meanwhile, emerging from the back end of the celebrity sausage machine is Niagara jumper Kirk Jones, who might start wishing he never survived the Falls. He won't be going on 20/20, starring in his own reality show, or chatting with Larry King (wait, maybe he did...). What will he be doing? Jones--and I swear I am not making this up--will be trolling for dollars as a circus act . Billed as "The World's Greatest Stuntman" in the Toby Tyler Circus--currently knocking them dead in a motley assortment of Mexican border towns--Jones will....well, it's not exactly clear what he will be doing, but the circus promises it will be "spectacular" (I assume this does not refer to the fact that Jones will be helping clean up after the elephants, which is also part of his contract). Just in case the circus doesn't launch him to stardom, Jones is pitching a book called "You're Kidding Me: A Knucklehead's Guide to Surviving Niagara Falls." Hey, wasn't TWC the first to call Jones a Knucklehead? We'll sue...he's broke, but so are we.
Would You Pay Money To See This Guy?: Now, if they shot him from a cannon ACROSS Niagara Falls...that would be big
Would You Pay Money To See This Guy?: Now, if they shot him from a cannon ACROSS Niagara Falls...that would be big
Annals of Aviation--Fossett Flies Far, Really Far: Thank God, we're back to some real news. Steve Fossett, uber-adventurer and Wetass extraordinaire, just added to his hefty world record collection by nailing the glider distance record. Flying with co-pilot Terry Delore, Fossett set out from Esquel, Argentina over the weekend and flew out and back over a distance of 2002.44 kilometers. That broke the existing Out and Back record by almost 300 kilometers, and Fossett and Delore did it going head to head against the existing record holder, German pilot Klaus Ohlmann, who set out from Esquel the same day. The reason Fossett and Ohlmann were bumping wings in Esquel is that the Andes mountain range can create perfect gliding conditions--known as a "mountain wave"--as winds accelerate over the top of the peaks. Ohlmann flew south, and Fossett and Delore flew north. North paid, and Ohlmann was back first--in time to congratulate Fossett after he landed. Fossett also is targeting the glider height and speed records. And just to keep busy, he has yet another world record project cooking, for 2004. He wants to become the first solo pilot to fly around the globe non-stop (with no refueling), a project which is being backed by Virgin Atlantic and his buddy, adventurer-in-arms, Richard Branson. Fossett is hoping to get around in about 80 hours, and if he does he will have been the first to solo the globe non-stop in both a balloon and a plane. I told you he was a Wetass....
Fossett's Global Flying Machine: But would it be powerful enough to get Kirk Jones across Niagara?
(Image: www.virginatlanticglobalflyer.com)
Fossett's Global Flying Machine: But would it be powerful enough to get Kirk Jones across Niagara?
(Image: www.virginatlanticglobalflyer.com)
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