Friday, January 23, 2004
Francis Joyon Update--Hitting the Home Stretch: Solo sailor Joyon has crossed the Equator in his trimaran IDEC, and has a mere 3200 miles between him and a hot shower. He's just 62 days into his remarkable voyage and the remaining miles--barring disaster--should take about 10-14 days. Soooo, Joyon will not only become the first sailor ever to complete a solo circumnavigation non-stop in a multihull. He will also be the first solo sailor to break the mythical Jules Verne 80 days. I've said it once and I'll say it a hundred times: Holy Merde! This one's going to be a tough record to beat....
Vive La France: "Alors, what eeez all zee fuss about? You sail and keep sailing, and zen you arivee home."
Vive La France: "Alors, what eeez all zee fuss about? You sail and keep sailing, and zen you arivee home."
Mars Rover Update--IT'S ALIVE!: NASA ground controllers were extremely relieved to receive two data transmissions from the wayward Rover this morning, but still don't know for sure what is wrong with the little buggy on the Martian craterscape. In other words, Spirit spoke but didn't explain. Everything seems okay with the batteries, so scientists are hoping it's a software problem (the Anna Kournikova virus, maybe?) instead of a hardware problem. Spirit's sister-ship Opportunity is scheduled to land on the other side of Mars this weekend, so NASA has a back-up Rover on the way. But if these Rovers don't do the job, it'll be another $820 million down the drain, and a second major failure for NASA following the Columbia disaster and shutdown of the shuttle program. Bush's fantasy of sending humans to Mars--or even to the Moon--isn't looking like such a good bet right now. Maybe we should hire the Russians...
"For Chrissakes, relax. Can't a robot take a nap on Mars anymore?
"For Chrissakes, relax. Can't a robot take a nap on Mars anymore?
Steve Fossett Jules Verne Update--No Go For Now: After flying all the way to England Fossett looked at the weather maps and decided the forecast wasn't good enough to launch his round-the-world record bid this weekend. Just too slow around the Canary Islands, and thus too slow to the Equator. Next possible weather system appears to be early February. No word yet on whether Olivier DeK and Geronimo agree with this analysis.....
"Ahhh, this is what we're looking for......."
"Ahhh, this is what we're looking for......."
Thursday, January 22, 2004
The Wetass Lifestyle (2)--No Whining in Wisconsin: Here's Peter Harken reminiscing about his college days and fast sailboats (Harken is now head of a multi-million dollar company that manufactures top of the line mechanical gear for yachts). We could all learn something from him:
"My first wild trapeze boat was the great 505 while I was at the Univ. of
Wisconsin in 1958. I and a French student friend of mine got a hold of a
beat up one, fixed it all up, total new varnish job, added some funny crude
ball bearing homemade blocks I hacked together for our iceboats and ripped
off for the 505.
Classes? What classes? Maybe attend morning classes, just enough to be a
student, barely, but then the afternoons were spent tearing all over Lake
Mendota in front of the campus yelling our heads off! Foul weather gear?
Dry suits? Nah, plastic garbage bags over sweat shirts and Levis was all
the fashion we could muster.
The 505 grabbed lots of attention because it was the only boat allowed on
the lake by the Univ. Life Guard Station when it was hootin' the tops off
the waves. Showing off to the girls was an added bonus until we stepped
ashore. Looking at a couple of mad, grinning, soaked to the bone, shivering
guys wearing shredded garbage bags didn't seem to impress them. So, we
slopped beer without them and saved money to boot!"
Stupid college girls......
505 On Fire: Yeah, Baby......Yeah!
(Photo: Alden Bugly, PhotoGray)
"My first wild trapeze boat was the great 505 while I was at the Univ. of
Wisconsin in 1958. I and a French student friend of mine got a hold of a
beat up one, fixed it all up, total new varnish job, added some funny crude
ball bearing homemade blocks I hacked together for our iceboats and ripped
off for the 505.
Classes? What classes? Maybe attend morning classes, just enough to be a
student, barely, but then the afternoons were spent tearing all over Lake
Mendota in front of the campus yelling our heads off! Foul weather gear?
Dry suits? Nah, plastic garbage bags over sweat shirts and Levis was all
the fashion we could muster.
The 505 grabbed lots of attention because it was the only boat allowed on
the lake by the Univ. Life Guard Station when it was hootin' the tops off
the waves. Showing off to the girls was an added bonus until we stepped
ashore. Looking at a couple of mad, grinning, soaked to the bone, shivering
guys wearing shredded garbage bags didn't seem to impress them. So, we
slopped beer without them and saved money to boot!"
Stupid college girls......
505 On Fire: Yeah, Baby......Yeah!
(Photo: Alden Bugly, PhotoGray)
Annals of Oops--Best Not to Believe What You Read: (except in TWC, of course). For example, TRAIL magazine, in its February 2004 issue, helpfully tells hikers how to safely get down from Scotland's Ben Nevis, which is Britain's tallest peak and is notorious for its atrocious weather. Except...editors mistakenly removed two crucial bearings from the version of the article that eventually went to print. That would be bad enough, if the misleading bearings simply got hikers lost, or walked them into a bramble patch. But, as printed, the article would direct unwitting hikers, feeling their way through cloud, fog and rain, right off the edge of a sheer cliff on the 1,320 meter mountain, plunging them into the hiker-eating "Gardyloo Gully." The error was spotted by the eagle-eyed Scottish Mountaineering Council, which published a warning on its website. TRAIL editor Guy Proctor was apologetic, but was hopeful that anyone hiking on Ben Nevis would be carrying a proper map (instead of a copy of his inaccurate rag, I presume)......
Ben Nevis Brouhaha: "I don't give a damn what your map says, Gertrude. The magazine says we turn left HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE.........."
Ben Nevis Brouhaha: "I don't give a damn what your map says, Gertrude. The magazine says we turn left HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE.........."
Mars Rover Update--Shhhhh!: Uh-oh, the Mars Rover has clammed up. Scientists were waiting for a stream of scientific and engineering data, but got.....nada. Pathfinder (the previous Mars lander) went into an occasional cone of silence before getting back in touch, so NASA is waiting and hoping. Or maybe the Rover has been captured by.....AHHHHHHH (no, that's not Howard Dean)!
All that was left was a lonely lander......
All that was left was a lonely lander......
The Wetass Lifestyle--Bummer to Be a Bum?: Ski bumming is a fading way of life, according to the LA Times:
"Escalating costs in resort towns require most bums to juggle at least two jobs, an affront to the snow-slacker ideal that eschews timecards — except tallies of hours spent boarding. Latino immigrants, who expect less pay and often prove more reliable than drifters and itinerant college students, increasingly fill entry-level jobs. Globalization has reached the snowy peaks, and a lifestyle built on avoiding real life for unfettered access to powder, kegs and flirtation is fading."
Hmmm, the article extrapolates all this mostly from the life on one loser, who got a really bad haircut when he was drunk, is on the lam from a DUI charge in Pennsylvania, and starts tabs at local bars with an expired credit card ("What happens when you do that?", he asks the reporter). The alternative explanation is that today's ski bums are simply whiners. Ski bumming in its glory days never really meant sitting around, getting stoned, and doing no work. It meant working your ass off at a menial job, getting stoned, and skiing 100 days a year. Yes, it's harder to be a bum when there is a growing supply of immigrant labor that works hard and actually shows up at work on big powder days. But there is a sense of entitlement that emanates from all the so-called "bums" interviewed for the story that just sounds off.....
No Whining: "Who gives a sh*t if I have to wait tables? The powder is deep, the slopes are steep, and Ski Magazine says the divorcees are on the prowl...."
"Escalating costs in resort towns require most bums to juggle at least two jobs, an affront to the snow-slacker ideal that eschews timecards — except tallies of hours spent boarding. Latino immigrants, who expect less pay and often prove more reliable than drifters and itinerant college students, increasingly fill entry-level jobs. Globalization has reached the snowy peaks, and a lifestyle built on avoiding real life for unfettered access to powder, kegs and flirtation is fading."
Hmmm, the article extrapolates all this mostly from the life on one loser, who got a really bad haircut when he was drunk, is on the lam from a DUI charge in Pennsylvania, and starts tabs at local bars with an expired credit card ("What happens when you do that?", he asks the reporter). The alternative explanation is that today's ski bums are simply whiners. Ski bumming in its glory days never really meant sitting around, getting stoned, and doing no work. It meant working your ass off at a menial job, getting stoned, and skiing 100 days a year. Yes, it's harder to be a bum when there is a growing supply of immigrant labor that works hard and actually shows up at work on big powder days. But there is a sense of entitlement that emanates from all the so-called "bums" interviewed for the story that just sounds off.....
No Whining: "Who gives a sh*t if I have to wait tables? The powder is deep, the slopes are steep, and Ski Magazine says the divorcees are on the prowl...."
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
VDH Update--Au Revoir, Cape Leeuwin: Jean Luc Van Den Heede is now 74 days into his backward circumnavigation. He's got an 18 day lead over existing record holder Philippe Monnet, and he recently left Australia's Cape Leeuwin in his wake. That leaves just the Cape of Good Hope at the bottom of Africa, before he turns north and heads for home. He's starting to battle little maintenance problems, like holes in his mainsail, and loose bolts on his engine (which he uses to charge his batteries; the prop has been removed). But that's all normal for a gruelling voyage like this. He's also got to battle the occasional spell of boredom. Luckily, he's got the great birds of the Southern Ocean to keep him company:
Apart from the surveillance and maintenance of his aluminum monohull, Jean Luc is amusing himself watching the albatrosses, which are accompanying him. "They watch me go by and seem to be asking themselves who this strange creature is. I can't stop thinking about a cartoon, Bernard and Bianca, when I see them taking off. They look like a heavy bomber on the runway, it's really funny. To tell the truth, I'm having fun forcing them to take off."
C'mon, Jean Luc, leave the damn birds alone....
One More Great Cape....And Then Home (VDH in Red; Monnet in Blue)
Apart from the surveillance and maintenance of his aluminum monohull, Jean Luc is amusing himself watching the albatrosses, which are accompanying him. "They watch me go by and seem to be asking themselves who this strange creature is. I can't stop thinking about a cartoon, Bernard and Bianca, when I see them taking off. They look like a heavy bomber on the runway, it's really funny. To tell the truth, I'm having fun forcing them to take off."
C'mon, Jean Luc, leave the damn birds alone....
One More Great Cape....And Then Home (VDH in Red; Monnet in Blue)
Meanwhile......: Francis Joyon, sailing the right way around and in a fast trimaran, is just 60 days in and already climbing back up the Atlantic toward home. He should hit the Equator in a few days, if he can just free himself from the light winds that have plagued him as he struggles past the "bulge of Brazil" off Recife. This is the first real weather difficulty Joyon has experienced, and it has resulted in the smallest 24 hour run of his voyage: just 130 miles. Even so, the forecast shows the wind filling in from the east, allowing Joyon a fast ride to The Line, where the Doldrums are currently looking eminently passable. Joyon, despite his current frustration, is in the same situation as VDH: if he can just keep his boat and sails from falling apart he will be a new world record holder. In fact, unless Joyon hits some serious potholes, his solo voyage is going to be very hard to beat. Why? He has been unbelievably lucky with the weather, frequently encountering fair winds where foul winds are usually found. If this keeps up, Joyon should step off his boat in France and immediately go play the lottery.....
Close Encounter: For God's sake, Francis, don't hit a damn whale now....
Close Encounter: For God's sake, Francis, don't hit a damn whale now....
Annals of Invention--Indoor Windsurfing?: Give kudos to the marketers behind the recently concluded London Boat Show. Just in case the thousands of demo boats on display weren't enough to enthrall crowds, the show included a massive indoor water pool with 25 high-powered fans arrayed alongside. Ventilation for the unwashed? A substitute for air conditioning? Nope. The fans were there to lash the waters with a 30 knot breeze, so the world's top windsurfers could do what they do best: ridiculously extreme freestyle jumps. Click here for a rundown on the indoor windsurfing competition and some great photos....
Blown Away: Yes, there's someone on that windsurfer....
Blown Away: Yes, there's someone on that windsurfer....
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Still More Off-Road Abuse!: While we're slamming the combustion-engine fetishists (see below), here's a video that will put a smile on the face of anyone who's sick to death of the mosquito buzz of dirt bikes in the wild (warning: video embedded in a page with somewhat--okay, very--dubious links, so if you work for Wal-Mart or the FBI, don't click through at work)...........
Annals of Inanity--Rovin', Rovin', Rovin': Most people like to climb mountains on foot, but there are always a few who just can't be bothered to get out of the damn car. Thus, the tale of Alexander Abramov and his trip in a Land Rover to the top of Mount Elbrus, courtesy of our friends at Explorer's Web. Elbrus is in the Caucasus, and at 5,642 meters tall is the highest mountain in Europe. Abramov got it into his head that he could simply drive to the top, and off he went, with a team of ten pals. When the snow and ice started above 3,750 meters, they put chains on the thing, and used a winch when the vehicle really bogged down. The hardest part was that the Land Rover (here's a surprise) kept packing it in and Abramov would have to send team members down the mountain to get spare parts (to save time, they paraglided...very cool). After 43 days Abramov and his wacky band finally got the thing to the top of Elbrus (earning a Guinness world record), did a few donuts on the summit, and then promptly took off for a little R&R on the Black Sea...leaving the car behind on the summit (hmmm, do you think there was some vodka making the rounds at the summit celebration?; plus, I wonder what subsequent climbers thought when they struggled to the top and discovered someone had parked there...). A few weeks later the team returned to the summit to ponder how to remove the Land Rover. After deciding it was too cold and icy to drive down, everyone except the driver left to get chains and other gear to winch the car down. But before they could return, the lone driver waiting behind decides "F*ck it, I can drive this thing down," and hops in (more vodka?). So off he goes and before he knows it he has lost control and the Land Rover is plummeting down the side of Elbrus, accelerating rapidly. Out jumps the driver, just before the poor, benighted Rover impales itself on some rocks at 5,400 meters. Worse, the shock springs a wheel loose and it continues on its merry way....and comes very close to killing the rest of team making their way back up the mountain. Quite an adventure (great pics here). If anyone wants a free Land Rover (needs work) it can be found just above 5,000 meters on the side of a mountain in the Caucasus.....
"Sure, it drives funny. But it's a world record holder...."
"Sure, it drives funny. But it's a world record holder...."
More 4-Wheel Fun--The Official Hummer Salute: Yes, TWC hates the Hummer. And yes, TWC piles on every chance it gets. But it's SO easy and SO hard to resist. So when I come across a great website like FUH2.com, which posts pictures sent in by people giving the finger to Hummers all over the country it is TWC's pleasure (and civic duty) to pass it on.....
"Ahhh, now I feel better...."
"Ahhh, now I feel better...."
Fossett Jules Verne Update--Looking At Weekend Weather: WE (Wetass Extraordinaire) Steve Fossett is eying an approaching weather system as a possible launch for his round-the-world, non-stop record attempt. His big cat, Cheyenne, is ready and waiting, along with the crew. Hope De Kersauson and Geronimo are looking at the same thing. Fossett's take: "With the passage of a Cold Front, High Pressure will build this weekend. That will give us the Northwest winds we want to launch our Round the World record attempt. If the start proves to be Saturday instead of Sunday, we would leave the dock in Plymouth late on Friday afternoon to allow time for a leisurely overnight sail to the start line off of Ouessant Island, France."
Follow Fossett's Jules Verne adventure on his very informative web site, here.
"Hey, Steve, we'll go a lot faster if we get that damn helicopter off the back beam."
(Photo: Nick Legatt)
Follow Fossett's Jules Verne adventure on his very informative web site, here.
"Hey, Steve, we'll go a lot faster if we get that damn helicopter off the back beam."
(Photo: Nick Legatt)
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