Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Waaaah!: TWC will be on suspension today, due to the fact that my wife assures me that today is the day that another little Wetass is going to arrive on this here Earth. I'll be back as soon as I can figure out how to change tiny diapers again...
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 8:57 AM 
Monday, September 20, 2004
Department Of Dubious Achievement--The Scorpion Queen: Jim Morrison of the Doors would have loved this Malaysian chick, Nur Malena Hassan. She just spent her 27th birthday locked in a box with, let's see, more than 6,000 scorpions. Not only that, she'd already been in the box for 30 DAYS. Yes, she is going for a world record (she plans to go for 36 days). Why else would you get in a box full of scorpions? In a shopping mall, no less. She spends her days reading books and watching TV while a total of 6,069 scorpions crawl all over her, trying to figure out what the f*ck is going on. Apparently, she gets 15 minutes a day out of the box for a bathroom break, and can handle up to three scorpion bites per day. She was stung on the second and sixth days of her record attempt, but so far her only complaint is a lack of moral support from her countrymen. Hmm, I wonder why? Perhaps because she is stark raving mad? In fact, I think this constitutes scorpion-abuse--I mean, how bored are they?--and should be reported to the SPCI (Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Insects). Too bad the scorpions don't figure out that they would get sprung a lot quicker if they would just...
Scorpion Queen: "Oh, is there a scorpion on my head? I didn't really notice. I was too busy calculating how much attention I deserve..."
(Photo: AFP)
Scorpion Queen: "Oh, is there a scorpion on my head? I didn't really notice. I was too busy calculating how much attention I deserve..."
(Photo: AFP)
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:45 AM
Annals Of Oops--Messed-Up Mirabella: The picture says it all. The world's largest sloop (246-feet) aground on the French Riviera, after dragging anchor. We've all done that, but none of us has ever done it in a $50 million yacht. Mirabella's owner--former Avis honcho Joe Vittoria--wasn't on board at the time (now there's a phone call I'd hate to have to make). Mirabella is a monument to a rich man's inflated, vainglorious ego, so it's hard not to feel that the Gods saw a need to get involved. They'll know what the damage is once they haul her off the rocks and get her into dry dock. Hope Vittoria's got a good, make that world record, insurance policy...
French Riviera's Newest Lighthouse: "Well, at least we can row to the casinos..."
French Riviera's Newest Lighthouse: "Well, at least we can row to the casinos..."
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:29 AM
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