Friday, October 22, 2004
Have A Wetass Weekend...:
(Photo: Tim Parker via AVWeb)
(Photo: Tim Parker via AVWeb)
Annals Of Misadventure--Roslin Forrest: Canadian solo sailor Ros Forrest, attempting to become the youngest woman to circumnavigate the globe non-stop is in trouble. Not danger (yet), but trouble. Turns out she just didn't have a lot of experience in her boat before she set out earlier this month. Her winch handles don't fit, her sheets are the wrong length, she's been having trouble with her centerboard, and she forgot to bring a frying pan. These are all minor issues, taken alone. But it sure seems like she doesn't know that much about sailing. And when you put it all together and remember that she's headed for the tempest of Cape Horn, which has killed more than a few old salts, it's a bit worrying. Plus, Roslin is now suffering from severe seasickness after going through her first real storm at sea (with winds up to 50 knots), and isn't getting much food or liquid down. Her shore team has recommended that she head toward the California coast and calmer seas, so she can think it all over and bail out if she decides she's just not up to facing the Southern Ocean and ten more months of sailing. The pull of a nearby port can be overwhelming when things are going badly at sea, but it's a smart decision. No one will fault her if she gives up. And if she doesn't, well, she's really got heart. Either way, hope she stays safe...
Naive Roslin?: "Wow, this is great. I wonder what it will be like when the wind starts to blow..."
Naive Roslin?: "Wow, this is great. I wonder what it will be like when the wind starts to blow..."
Annals Of Inanity--Where's The Fire?: Most of us have been slapped with speeding tickets, mostly for topping the speed limit by 15, 20, 25 mph. So TWC would like to offer a salute to one Samuel Armstrong Tilley, from the great state of Minnesota. Last month, Tilley was hit with a speeding ticket for doing, umm, 205.1 mph on a Honda motorcycle. Yikes. That's believed to be an unofficial world record for speeding on a public road, exceeding the previous record set by New Yorker Dr. William Faenza, who was nabbed doing 182 mph (in a 55 mph zone) in a 1997 Lamborghini Diablo. Tilley was clocked by a police plane using a stopwatch, but is contesting his ticket by arguing his Honda RC51 bike is only capable of about 145-150 mph (oh, is that all?). Might the police plane pilot have made a mistake? Turns out he was timing both Tilley and a friend of Tilley's (who was doing 111mph on an MV Agusta F4i)...and flying the plane at the same time. You decide. Anyhow, if you want to get a sense of what it's like to be on a motorcycle doing close to 200 mph, check out this mesmerizing video (note: the speedo is registering kilometers per hour. When it hits 299 the bike is doing about 180 mph).
Tilley's fine was only $105 so he doesn't have to worry too much one way or the other. He's just lucky he's not a citizen of Finland, where speeding ticket fines are proportional to the speeder's personal wealth. The result: Finnish millionaire Jussi Salonoja was recently fined a world record $216,900 for speeding in a 25 mph zone. Now that's a fine...
Tilley's Defense: "C'mon, Judge. There was no way I was doing 200 mph on this thing..."
Tilley's fine was only $105 so he doesn't have to worry too much one way or the other. He's just lucky he's not a citizen of Finland, where speeding ticket fines are proportional to the speeder's personal wealth. The result: Finnish millionaire Jussi Salonoja was recently fined a world record $216,900 for speeding in a 25 mph zone. Now that's a fine...
Tilley's Defense: "C'mon, Judge. There was no way I was doing 200 mph on this thing..."
Thursday, October 21, 2004
The Need For Speed...: The speed junkie sailors of the Northern Hemisphere have had their week at Weymouth. Now it's the time for Antipdoean adrenaline addicts to get their groove on. Starting Saturday, at Sandy Point, in Victoria, Austalia, the Southern Hemisphere's fastest sailors will be unleashing one timed run after another. Sandy Point is where Yellow Pages Endeavor (the current sailing speed world record holder, at 46.52 knots) put up its world record time. And it's where YPE's successor, Macqaurie Innovation, will try to outdo her. The otherworldly red machine has been at Sandy Point since the end of August, and has already put up a 44 knot run. Sandy Point Speed Week will run for, umm, a week. Want to know more? Check out the following event FAQs, to get the full, irreverent, Aussie flavor of the event:
So what are the rules ?
Simple. Just Go.
Go out (when you like)
Go fast (when you can)
Go back ( when you're done)
Go download your results for filtering.
That's it ?
Basically.
Endanger another competitor : OUT
Fail to yield to Starboard (tack, not Tiki boards) : OUT
Interfere with or obstruct Macquarie Innovation : OUT
What ? Where's the official NoR etc ?
Hello ? This event is likely not for you.
Thanks for your interest anyway.
Who's organising it?
Looking for someone to complain to ?
Sorry. Wrong event.
This is a serious racer event by racers, for racers.
Event management is from the highest levels of the sport in Australia.
But this is an event - for us as racers - not bureaucrats.
Everyone's invited, but we aren't asking you to be there.
Underground? Clandestine ?
Not intentionally. But it could seem that way.
Just hardcore. Pure. And Simple.
What about safety?
This is potentially a dangerous activity.
If conditions get epic, potential will become reality.
Sandy Point is an isolated location.
Rescue and medical facilities are limited. And distant.
Medical evacuation for serious injury will be both essential and expensive.
Event safety will be a priority - but not always possible.
You attend and participate entirely at your own risk.
You MUST have suitable liability insurance.
(let us say that again)
You MUST have suitable liability insurance.
Well what type of sailing craft can compete?
Provided only wind powers it, you can race.
Can't get much simpler.
So who will be there?
Those who want to be.
Windsurfers. Kiters. Foils Yachts. Blokarts?
Macquarie Innovation. (Yellow Pages)
There's a lot of guys out there with the yearn to burn.
A few pretty fast ladies too. Or is that pretty, fast ladies ?
If you can do it & want it bad enough you will be too.
Your call.
Can you cheat?
Yes, just once. And you are out. Guaranteed.
Just like an Olympic drug cheat, we will find you.
You're out of the event, shamed, and it will be known.
Where is Sandy Point?
Sandy Point is a quiet isolated small coastal community.
One store, one cafe, one streetlight.
At night, everyone sleeps. Or hits the Fishy pub.
What will conditions be like?
Nestled inside a natural venturi on the Southern tip of mainland Australia
Sandy Point faces the full brunt of Antarctic's roaring 40's.
The actual racing takes place on Shallow Inlet, about 2Kms past town.
It's vehicle accessible only at low to mid tides via Sandy Point Road.
Ocean winds sweep in from Bass Strait over a foiled sandbar 500m wide
creating perfect offshore airflow on flat water inside the tidal inlet.
A good October day at Sandy Point is windy from SW at 15-25kts.
Wind that time of year is frontal, some days can be light.
Temperatures can vary from warm on light wind days to cold.
On a REALLY good October day W/SW cold frontal winds can be 40kts +.
Hypothermia is a real possibility in these conditions. Be prepared.
These are the days. They are cold, harsh. Fast.
I heard the place really nukes. Does it?
It can, and when it does, be ready.
60kt fronts turn day into grey.
And monofilm into trash.
Is it really "sandy"?
Yes. Very.
A new car will never be the same.
Laugh now. But we warned you.
I love it. Hope it nukes...
Mystical Macquarie: Ready to rumble...
So what are the rules ?
Simple. Just Go.
Go out (when you like)
Go fast (when you can)
Go back ( when you're done)
Go download your results for filtering.
That's it ?
Basically.
Endanger another competitor : OUT
Fail to yield to Starboard (tack, not Tiki boards) : OUT
Interfere with or obstruct Macquarie Innovation : OUT
What ? Where's the official NoR etc ?
Hello ? This event is likely not for you.
Thanks for your interest anyway.
Who's organising it?
Looking for someone to complain to ?
Sorry. Wrong event.
This is a serious racer event by racers, for racers.
Event management is from the highest levels of the sport in Australia.
But this is an event - for us as racers - not bureaucrats.
Everyone's invited, but we aren't asking you to be there.
Underground? Clandestine ?
Not intentionally. But it could seem that way.
Just hardcore. Pure. And Simple.
What about safety?
This is potentially a dangerous activity.
If conditions get epic, potential will become reality.
Sandy Point is an isolated location.
Rescue and medical facilities are limited. And distant.
Medical evacuation for serious injury will be both essential and expensive.
Event safety will be a priority - but not always possible.
You attend and participate entirely at your own risk.
You MUST have suitable liability insurance.
(let us say that again)
You MUST have suitable liability insurance.
Well what type of sailing craft can compete?
Provided only wind powers it, you can race.
Can't get much simpler.
So who will be there?
Those who want to be.
Windsurfers. Kiters. Foils Yachts. Blokarts?
Macquarie Innovation. (Yellow Pages)
There's a lot of guys out there with the yearn to burn.
A few pretty fast ladies too. Or is that pretty, fast ladies ?
If you can do it & want it bad enough you will be too.
Your call.
Can you cheat?
Yes, just once. And you are out. Guaranteed.
Just like an Olympic drug cheat, we will find you.
You're out of the event, shamed, and it will be known.
Where is Sandy Point?
Sandy Point is a quiet isolated small coastal community.
One store, one cafe, one streetlight.
At night, everyone sleeps. Or hits the Fishy pub.
What will conditions be like?
Nestled inside a natural venturi on the Southern tip of mainland Australia
Sandy Point faces the full brunt of Antarctic's roaring 40's.
The actual racing takes place on Shallow Inlet, about 2Kms past town.
It's vehicle accessible only at low to mid tides via Sandy Point Road.
Ocean winds sweep in from Bass Strait over a foiled sandbar 500m wide
creating perfect offshore airflow on flat water inside the tidal inlet.
A good October day at Sandy Point is windy from SW at 15-25kts.
Wind that time of year is frontal, some days can be light.
Temperatures can vary from warm on light wind days to cold.
On a REALLY good October day W/SW cold frontal winds can be 40kts +.
Hypothermia is a real possibility in these conditions. Be prepared.
These are the days. They are cold, harsh. Fast.
I heard the place really nukes. Does it?
It can, and when it does, be ready.
60kt fronts turn day into grey.
And monofilm into trash.
Is it really "sandy"?
Yes. Very.
A new car will never be the same.
Laugh now. But we warned you.
I love it. Hope it nukes...
Mystical Macquarie: Ready to rumble...
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Wetass Video Of The Week...: This film about how kitesurfing can go oh-so-wrong has been making the rounds, and there's a reason. It's unf*ckingbelievable. Money quote: "I'm kitesurfing, not skydiving." Click here to check out one wild ride, with blow-by-blow follow-up interview...
"Uh-oh. I'm starting to think I might need a parachute."
(Photo: WetDawg)
Thanks to Lucian and WaterWrkPr for the tip
"Uh-oh. I'm starting to think I might need a parachute."
(Photo: WetDawg)
Thanks to Lucian and WaterWrkPr for the tip
Wetass Of The Week--Ginge Fullen: Maybe if you have a sissy name, you have to be ultra-tough. Explorer's Web has been following the adventures of this former snake-eater and Royal Navy diver. And according to Ginge's website, he's had quite a run. He made the world's most southerly dive (at 77 degrees South, in the Weddell Sea Antarctica), he ran the bulls at Pamplona, he broke his neck playing rugby, he suffered a heart attack on Everest, and he competed in the world coal-carrying championship (well, he's a Brit). But the most ambitious, grandiose project of ol' Ginge's adventurous life is to climb the highest peak...in every country...in the world. That's 193 hills and mountains, which is a lot of climbing. But it's a grand, easy-to-understand, Wetass-friendly concept, and I like it. I like it a lot. Here's Ginge's entire "to-do" list, showing he's up to 130.
Amazingly, when Ginge started in the 1990s he had no mountain climbing experience. Zero. Nada. Zip. Nevertheless, he knocked off all the highest peaks in the 47 European countries by 1999. To do it, he had to survive muggings, knife attacks, landmines in Croatia, and Chechen bandits. He eluded the Palace Guards in the Vatican City, and bribed his way to the top of Mount Ararat to become the first person in ten years to climb it officially. And now he's almost worked his way through all the highest peaks in the 53 African countries. He started in 2001 and knocked off 43 of the 53 in one year. But then he bogged down in the war-torn countries, getting arrested repeatedly in Liberia, and waiting for a cease-fire before making a dash up that benighted country's highest peak. Here's Ginge's description of what it has taken to climb through the strife:
"Some of the most dangerous countries I originally listed are now some of my most favourite. With an escort of 60 soldiers from the local rebel group the SPLA in Sudan I summitted their highest mountain not climbed since probably around the 1970's due to the fighting. 20 soldiers escorted me up Rwanda's highest peak, keen not to let the first tourist in over 10 years to get shot and killed on their mountain. Angola I climbed at the third attempt. With more landmines than any other country in the world it is a dangerous place. Their highest mountain has not been climbed by many people, since the Portuguese put the original summit cairn there.
The last mountain climbed was in Chad, peak number 52 of the Project. Barring landmines, rebels, being off limits and unclimbed in several years there were no major problems. Most of Northern Chad you are not permitted to visit including all of the Tibesti mountains. Ongoing civil problems, rebel activity and landmines laid over many conflicts playing their part. The Tibesti mountains and Emi Koussi are some of, if not the, most remotest of mountains ranges in Africa. The peak had not been climbed since 1998 and that group of climbers had been taken hostage."
Ginge hopes to nail the last African peak--in Libya--in December. Stay tuned, though. Apparently he needs to bribe, I mean negotiate the assistance of, Colonel Qaddafi's son. Good luck with that, Dude...
Ginge Fullen, On Some Peak, Somewhere: "Don't tell anyone. But I have absolutely no idea where I am right now..."
Amazingly, when Ginge started in the 1990s he had no mountain climbing experience. Zero. Nada. Zip. Nevertheless, he knocked off all the highest peaks in the 47 European countries by 1999. To do it, he had to survive muggings, knife attacks, landmines in Croatia, and Chechen bandits. He eluded the Palace Guards in the Vatican City, and bribed his way to the top of Mount Ararat to become the first person in ten years to climb it officially. And now he's almost worked his way through all the highest peaks in the 53 African countries. He started in 2001 and knocked off 43 of the 53 in one year. But then he bogged down in the war-torn countries, getting arrested repeatedly in Liberia, and waiting for a cease-fire before making a dash up that benighted country's highest peak. Here's Ginge's description of what it has taken to climb through the strife:
"Some of the most dangerous countries I originally listed are now some of my most favourite. With an escort of 60 soldiers from the local rebel group the SPLA in Sudan I summitted their highest mountain not climbed since probably around the 1970's due to the fighting. 20 soldiers escorted me up Rwanda's highest peak, keen not to let the first tourist in over 10 years to get shot and killed on their mountain. Angola I climbed at the third attempt. With more landmines than any other country in the world it is a dangerous place. Their highest mountain has not been climbed by many people, since the Portuguese put the original summit cairn there.
The last mountain climbed was in Chad, peak number 52 of the Project. Barring landmines, rebels, being off limits and unclimbed in several years there were no major problems. Most of Northern Chad you are not permitted to visit including all of the Tibesti mountains. Ongoing civil problems, rebel activity and landmines laid over many conflicts playing their part. The Tibesti mountains and Emi Koussi are some of, if not the, most remotest of mountains ranges in Africa. The peak had not been climbed since 1998 and that group of climbers had been taken hostage."
Ginge hopes to nail the last African peak--in Libya--in December. Stay tuned, though. Apparently he needs to bribe, I mean negotiate the assistance of, Colonel Qaddafi's son. Good luck with that, Dude...
Ginge Fullen, On Some Peak, Somewhere: "Don't tell anyone. But I have absolutely no idea where I am right now..."
Crash And Burn...: The ever-creative, ever-resourceful denizens of Sailing Anarchy's forums are heavy into a thread on "Best Cartwheel Pics." Lots and lots of great shots of boats going ass over end. Check out all the carnage here. But here's a taste...
"Hmmm. Should I do a swan dive or a cannonball...?"
"Permission to come aboard...?"
"There. The jib is trimmed perfectly now..."
"Take her down, Lieutenant. Cruising depth of 20 meters..."
"Hmmm. Should I do a swan dive or a cannonball...?"
"Permission to come aboard...?"
"There. The jib is trimmed perfectly now..."
"Take her down, Lieutenant. Cruising depth of 20 meters..."
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Wetass Website #46--Chasing Storms: If you like extreme weather--I mean if you like looking at extreme weather from the comfort of your desktop--then "Eye In The Tropics" is your kind of weather porn. The site is run by freelance storm photographer/videographer (is that a great job title, or what?) Mike Theiss. He's a pretty busy guy, and since he lives in South Florida the serial hurricanes of 2004 have served up a bumper year for him. He's got video and stills of everything from hurricanes ripping the roofs off gas stations, to tornados, waterspouts and lightning strikes. Oddly, he also has a gallery of "Riot and Protest," but never mind...
"Say, Nancy, do you still have the number of that roofing guy..."
(Photo: UltimateChase.Com)
"Say, Nancy, do you still have the number of that roofing guy..."
(Photo: UltimateChase.Com)
Department Of Extremes--Russian Roulette: They don't get the media spotlight, but they deserve respect. When it comes to ridiculously difficult expeditions the Russians are as tough and creative as they come. How do I know? Well, check out the nominees for the "Best Extreme Projects" of 2004, prsented at a recent extreme sports festival. You've got the climb up the north face of Jannu (covered in TWC), and the BASE jump off Amin Brakk (also covered). But throw in the first ascent of Kongur in China, and a cave expedition that dropped a world record 1800 meters into the deepest cave in the world--the Voronja (which means "Carrion Crows") cave--and you've got an honor roll of achievement that is second to none this year...
Down The Hole: "1600 meters, 1700 meters. Why of why did I have to be born Russian...?"
Down The Hole: "1600 meters, 1700 meters. Why of why did I have to be born Russian...?"
Annals Of Surfing--Pipeline Pulchritude: Maybe it's a sign of the times. But surfing just ain't what it used to be. Take Pipeline, for example, the mythic break on Oahu's North Shore. You read about it, you see movies about it. But if you want to go surf it and you're not an established regular or a world class talent, you'd better bring your headgear. Because a gang of local surfing thugs have deputized themselves as etiquette enforcers, and if you screw up they'll lay a beating on you. The LA Times has the story. Here's an excerpt:
The enforcers call themselves the Wolfpack, and most of them come from Kauai. The pack's alpha male is Kala Alexander, a buff and accomplished surfer best known for his role as the tattooed heavy in the 2002 date movie "Blue Crush."
He regularly justifies his beachfront vigilantism in print and video interviews. With a relatively tight takeoff zone, Alexander says, Pipeline can safely accommodate only about 20 expert surfers at a time. But up until a few years ago, 60 to 80 surfers and bodyboarders, many of them novices, routinely overran the place. World-class surfers would stroke into breathtaking barrels only to have an arm-flapping wannabe cut them off and force them into the break's treacherous shallows.
In the unwritten book of surf etiquette, such a right-of-way violation qualifies as a capital offense, and the guilty party's punishment nowadays is a good licking. So far, no one has pressed charges.
"You need people like me," Alexander recently told Surfer magazine, "or it would just be even more crazy."
Umm, wasn't that pretty much Hitler's line of argument? This is nuts. No one owns Pipeline, and the wannabes should get a shot at it too. Sure, etiquette should be observed. And for anyone who needs a clue, check out this story on the rules of surfing. Even better, here's a summary of the "Tribal Law" as laid down at one surfing beach in Australia:
Tribal Law: Surfriders Code of Ethics
1) Right of way: Furthest out (or waiting longest); Furthest inside (closest to peak); First to feet or on wave; Call: communicate (left or right)...
2) Do not drop in or snake...
3) Paddle wide using rip...
4) Caught inside, stay in the whitewater...
5) Danger: Do not throw board (in danger of others)...
6) Respect the beach, the ocean and others...
7) Give respect to gain respect...
8) We are very lucky to be surfers - share the water
The key word is "share." Contrast that to what's going down at Pipeline. Surfing is supposed to be mellow, laid back, communal. When did the meatheads take over...?
Surf Rage: "Thanks for cutting in front, d*ckhead! Perhaps you need a "conversation" with the Wolfpack..."
The enforcers call themselves the Wolfpack, and most of them come from Kauai. The pack's alpha male is Kala Alexander, a buff and accomplished surfer best known for his role as the tattooed heavy in the 2002 date movie "Blue Crush."
He regularly justifies his beachfront vigilantism in print and video interviews. With a relatively tight takeoff zone, Alexander says, Pipeline can safely accommodate only about 20 expert surfers at a time. But up until a few years ago, 60 to 80 surfers and bodyboarders, many of them novices, routinely overran the place. World-class surfers would stroke into breathtaking barrels only to have an arm-flapping wannabe cut them off and force them into the break's treacherous shallows.
In the unwritten book of surf etiquette, such a right-of-way violation qualifies as a capital offense, and the guilty party's punishment nowadays is a good licking. So far, no one has pressed charges.
"You need people like me," Alexander recently told Surfer magazine, "or it would just be even more crazy."
Umm, wasn't that pretty much Hitler's line of argument? This is nuts. No one owns Pipeline, and the wannabes should get a shot at it too. Sure, etiquette should be observed. And for anyone who needs a clue, check out this story on the rules of surfing. Even better, here's a summary of the "Tribal Law" as laid down at one surfing beach in Australia:
Tribal Law: Surfriders Code of Ethics
1) Right of way: Furthest out (or waiting longest); Furthest inside (closest to peak); First to feet or on wave; Call: communicate (left or right)...
2) Do not drop in or snake...
3) Paddle wide using rip...
4) Caught inside, stay in the whitewater...
5) Danger: Do not throw board (in danger of others)...
6) Respect the beach, the ocean and others...
7) Give respect to gain respect...
8) We are very lucky to be surfers - share the water
The key word is "share." Contrast that to what's going down at Pipeline. Surfing is supposed to be mellow, laid back, communal. When did the meatheads take over...?
Surf Rage: "Thanks for cutting in front, d*ckhead! Perhaps you need a "conversation" with the Wolfpack..."
Monday, October 18, 2004
One-Time Political Interlude--See, Politics Can Be Funny: TWC is not a place for presidential politics, but it is a place for humor. And I found this little movie short about electronic voting in Florida so damn funny, I decided to violate strict editorial policy and post it. So sue me (after you stop laughing), or send me something really funny about J. Kerry. In the interests of being "Fair and Balanced" (Hmmm. Nice phrase. Maybe I'll trademark it...) and promoting humor in politics, I'll post that one too...
"Heh-heh. Did you get those new voting machines Rove sent down...?"
"Heh-heh. Did you get those new voting machines Rove sent down...?"
Annals Of Australia--The Meaning Of "Walkabout": Melbourne housewife Deborah De Williams has redefined the term. On October 17, 2003 she stepped out for a walk. And she just got back yesterday. Where did she walk? Around the...FRIGGING CONTINENT OF AUSTRALIA. That's just over 10,000 miles of walking, and she was at it every day, monsoon or shine. She did it to raise money for a kids charity, and along the way she picked up the record for the longest continuous walk. What were the first things she wanted once she got home? A shower and a toilet. Not sure what order, though...
"Maybe I'll have some foot cream, too..."
"Maybe I'll have some foot cream, too..."
Department Of Blind Adventure--Skiing In The Dark: TWC has to create this new department because blind adventurers are so damn busy. Last week, TWC wrote about the two blind sailors who are off to circumnavigate the globe. Just about the same time, two blind yahoos were tearing up Lake Windermere in England's Lake district. Here's the lineup: Gerald Price. Blind. 71 years old. Water skiied across the English Channel in 1981. Mark Threadgold. Blind. 36 years old. Set a blind water speed record of 99.1 mph last year. Put Threadgold behind the wheel and Price on the skis, and you have a blind waterskiing dream team. And last week they set two new world records. Record #1: Price set a blind waterskiing speed record of 46.2 mph. Record #2: First team to set a record with both a blind skier and a blind driver. Good job, gentlemen. But I can't help noticing that Threadgold's got another 50 mph in him. I also can't help noticing that the pair will have to go elsewhere if they want to keep skiing together. Authorities are about to impose a 10 mph speed limit on Lake Windermere. Hmm. I wonder if two blind guys bashing around at highway speeds had anything to do with the decision...
On The Next Record Attempt Threadgold Ups The Ante: "Damn, Mark's new boat sure is loud. Hope it's fast..."
On The Next Record Attempt Threadgold Ups The Ante: "Damn, Mark's new boat sure is loud. Hope it's fast..."


