Thursday, November 25, 2004
Program Note...: If you are reading this, then you have connected to our new server which we adopted over the Thanksgiving break. In theory, it should be a smooth transition, but, hey, how often does that ever happen? So if you experience some problems accessing the site or archives, stay patient. We'll sort 'em as we experience 'em...
Meet editor Tim in a hitherto unpublished characteristic chow disposal session on his way to Bermuda. Photo by our tech wizard, Colin.
Meet editor Tim in a hitherto unpublished characteristic chow disposal session on his way to Bermuda. Photo by our tech wizard, Colin.
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 5:10 AM 
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Have A Wetass Thanksgiving: TWC will be taking it easy until Monday...
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:33 PM
Wetass Video Of The Week--Into The Void: There are BASE jumpers and there are B..B..B..BASE jumpers. And anyone who hurls himself off the side of a monster vertical wall in France (and starts doing somersaults on the way down) is most certainly in the latter--or Holy F*ck!--category. This is a good one. It's filmed in beautiful slo-mo, and set to haunting music. Call it French cinema goes Wetass. So grab your popcorn, sit back, and click here...
"Okay, I'll do it for the sake of art. But you better get this in one take..."
"Okay, I'll do it for the sake of art. But you better get this in one take..."
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 11:07 AM
The Wetass Sporting World--Smackfest 2004: From the Land Of Oz, comes Smackfest, a kickass event in which wavesailors (windsurfers who play in the surfing break) congregate on the west coast of Tasmania to take on the howling winds and monstrous swells of the Roaring Forties. They drink a lot, surf a lot, and try their damnedest to pull off the one best waveride and one best jump of the week (no averaging here). The winner, or Smacker, gets bragging rights until they do it all again the following year. The second annual Smackfest just staggered to a close, and 26 competitors made the pilgrimage to the ass end of the earth to compete. This is a great concept, and a great event, and organizers are hopeful that they can pull Smackfest 3 together in 2005. TWC hopes so too. Why? Just check out this year's event diary. It's got great pics (see below), and stories of nakedness, hangovers, surfboard shooting (it was a slow day), and, of course, wild wavesurfing...
Smackfest!: Get the picture...?
Smackfest!: Get the picture...?
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:39 AM
'Tis The Season--For Record Attempts: There's another one underway (from Falmouth, in the UK), a solo, non-stopper in an 85-foot maxi. The sailor: Russian adventurer Fedor Konyukhov, veteran of the Vendee Globe. He's after Michel Desjoyeaux's 93 day mark, set in the 2000 Vendee Globe, and it's hard to know what sort of shot he's got. His boat is bigger than Desjoyeaux's Open 60 PRB, and reasonably new (built in 2000). But Konyukhov has never really won much on the sailing circuit. He is, however, a first-class Wetass, having rowed the Atlantic, climbed the seven highest peaks on the seven continents, skied to the Poles and circumnavigated four times already (once against the prevailing winds). If you want to see a life not wasted sitting around, just check out Konyukhov's startling biography. So the man definitely deserves some respect. We'll track his voyage and see how he gets on. Still waiting in Falmouth for a favorable weather window is Ellen MacArthur, with her 75-foot trimaran. If nothing else, it will be interesting to see how long it takes her to run Konyukhov down once she starts...
Freeliving Fedor: "If Ellen catches me, I hope she drops in for a shot of vodka..."
Freeliving Fedor: "If Ellen catches me, I hope she drops in for a shot of vodka..."
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:05 AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Vendee Globe Check-In--South Atlantic Puzzle: The Vendee Globe has broken into a leading group of five boats (headed still by King Jean Le Cam on Bonduelle), all within 200 miles of each other, a chasing group of eight boats that is anywhere from 335-538 miles behind Le Cam, and everyone else. Mike Golding, in fifth, is the only Anglo-Saxon presence up front and just barely managing to hang onto the leaders as they wend their way toward the Roaring Forties through a minefield of lows, highs and fronts. Daily report here. Position report here. The most interesting thing going on is the big flyer Alex Thomson, 335 miles back, is taking by heading southwest in an attempt to find new breeze first (see chart below). If he has guessed right, he could regain touch with the leaders. If not, it'll be a long chase across the Southern Ocean. We'll see. In the meantime, check out the Vendee Globe website video page for some good clips of life onboard. In particular, cue up Roland Jourdain's 11/21 video to see a sailor loving life and sailing fast in the South Atlantic. And then contrast it to this brutal clip from Nick Moloney, depressed in the Doldrums. He definitely doesn't look like a guy who is having fun...
Thomson is the white dot heading the wrong way...
Thomson is the white dot heading the wrong way...
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:21 AM
Wetass Video Vault--Airplane Anarchy: Gravity vs. technology, and gravity is (mostly) winning. Check it out...
Most of the people on this beach thought that Harriers could hover. Apparently not...
When air shows go wrong (warning: when planes collide at high speed, it's not pretty)...
See, fishing isn't always boring...
"Relax, guys. There's no way fly boy is going to mess with us over here..."
Most of the people on this beach thought that Harriers could hover. Apparently not...
When air shows go wrong (warning: when planes collide at high speed, it's not pretty)...
See, fishing isn't always boring...
"Relax, guys. There's no way fly boy is going to mess with us over here..."
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:04 AM
Annals Of Astonishment--Dolphin Security: It's a strange and mysterious world out there. Here's the scene: a group of four swimmers, which includes a 15-year old girl, is having a nice day in the water, 300 feet off Ocean Beach near Whangarei on New Zealand's North Island. Suddenly a pod of dolphins appears and starts herding the swimmers into a tight group, and swimming close circles in the water around them. Puzzled, one of the swimmers tries to drift free, only to be immediately pushed back by two of the larger dolphins. As they nudge him back into protective custody he sees a 9-foot Great White shark stalking the group. "I just recoiled. It was only about 2 m away from me, the water was crystal clear and it was as clear as the nose on my face," the swimmer, a lifeguard named Rob Howes said. "They had corralled us up to protect us," he said.
The swimmers spent the next 40 minutes treading water while the dolphins screened them from the hungry shark. Eventually, Monstro swam off to look for an easier meal. Incredible. Too bad so many dolphins end up dead in tuna fishing nets, or lying on beaches with their eardrums blasted out by naval sonar...
"Yo, Flipper, get the f*ck out of the way! I'm trying to carbo load, and what the hell has the human race ever done for you anyhow...?"
The swimmers spent the next 40 minutes treading water while the dolphins screened them from the hungry shark. Eventually, Monstro swam off to look for an easier meal. Incredible. Too bad so many dolphins end up dead in tuna fishing nets, or lying on beaches with their eardrums blasted out by naval sonar...
"Yo, Flipper, get the f*ck out of the way! I'm trying to carbo load, and what the hell has the human race ever done for you anyhow...?"
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:33 AM
Monday, November 22, 2004
Annals Of Ooops--"I think we're gonna need a bigger truck...": Here's what happens when you put piers, pubs, pickup trucks and plonkers together. Looks like Ireland...
"No problem, guys. This is routine..."
"Hey, Liam. There's a lot of water. It might make that little car...
...surprisingly heavy."
"Shite! Better call Mickey Long..."
"No problem, guys. This is routine..."
"No problem, guys. This is routine..."
"Hey, Liam. There's a lot of water. It might make that little car...
...surprisingly heavy."
"Shite! Better call Mickey Long..."
"No problem, guys. This is routine..."
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:54 AM
Monday Miscellaneous 1--Joyon Fades: As expected, French ubermensch Francis Joyon just didn't have enough breeze from the right angle to snag PlayStation's outright east/west transatlantic record. Joyon's time: 11 days, 3 hours, 18 minutes and 20 seconds, which is almost 2 days slower than Fossett's big cat. That doesn't sound very impressive, but it's important to remember that Joyon was sailing, umm...ALONE! So he's got the solo record, and put up another number for Ellen MacArthur to chase (hmm, note to respective PR teams: how about getting MacArthur and Joyon to race head to head in one of the big Atlantic races next year?). Now, hopefully, the amazing Joyon will be headed north to take a crack at the transatlantic record from New York to the English Channel. It's been a big year in sailing, but if this guy doesn't win the Rolex Yachtsman of the Year award it will be a crime, namely grand larceny...
Rolex Recipient?: "C'mon guys. The watch I am wearing is really, really crappy..."
Rolex Recipient?: "C'mon guys. The watch I am wearing is really, really crappy..."
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:33 AM
Monday Miscellaneous 2--Macquarie Mess: More detail on Macquarie Innovation's monster crash, and unfortunately it sounds as if the boat is scrap. This comes from the StarBoard windsurfing forum , and excellent site that follows closely the good, the bad, and the ugly of speed sailing at Sandy Point (as well as a lot of other sailing topics; sort of like a southern hemisphere Sailing Anarchy (without all the smack)):
"In a very unfortunate end to the emerging battle for speed supremacy between windsurfers and other craft,right in the heat of the “contest”, Macquarie Innovation (Yellow Pages) has been destroyed during a (very) high speed crash mid run at Sandy Point.
Suffering a front hull lift off at high speed, all effective control was lost at full power and MI slewed around into the wind. And sandbar. The ultimate spinout. Before cartwheeling itself and crew into a horror wipeout.
MI is a write-off but the crew of Simon McKeon (driver) and Tim Daddo (throttleman) luckily escaped without serious injury, despite being catapulted hi in the air inside their crew pod before crashing underwater and being trapped for a few scary seconds.
Data from MI is being attempted to be recovered to determine if the 50 was reached or not, but it’s certain the 500 wasn’t covered, so irrespective the record remains in Finian’s hands for now subject to ratification."
I asked on the forum for any post-crash analysis, and Ian Fox of the StarBoard Team (who provided the above summary) had this to say:
"It’s a pretty grim scene inside the team container, not much recognizable except for color – or the steering wheel !
There’s no determination yet of actually what went wrong to cause the lift of the bow pod that caused the loss of control which ended the run.
GPS data has been successfully recovered from the wreck and confirms a 47kt crash at 250m into the 500. The actual run was also averaged (to termination) at around 47kts, somewhat below target of 50. So, if had run full distance, it could have been interestingly close with Finian at 46.82 !!
Late on the night of the crash, picking up MI shrapnel floating in the Inlet,
Simon's famous comment to Tim:" Tim, I think we need a new boat !"
Averaging 47 and in striking distance of 50. These guys are obviously on the right track. Except for that needing a new boat thing, of course...
What Macquarie looks like in one piece...
"In a very unfortunate end to the emerging battle for speed supremacy between windsurfers and other craft,right in the heat of the “contest”, Macquarie Innovation (Yellow Pages) has been destroyed during a (very) high speed crash mid run at Sandy Point.
Suffering a front hull lift off at high speed, all effective control was lost at full power and MI slewed around into the wind. And sandbar. The ultimate spinout. Before cartwheeling itself and crew into a horror wipeout.
MI is a write-off but the crew of Simon McKeon (driver) and Tim Daddo (throttleman) luckily escaped without serious injury, despite being catapulted hi in the air inside their crew pod before crashing underwater and being trapped for a few scary seconds.
Data from MI is being attempted to be recovered to determine if the 50 was reached or not, but it’s certain the 500 wasn’t covered, so irrespective the record remains in Finian’s hands for now subject to ratification."
I asked on the forum for any post-crash analysis, and Ian Fox of the StarBoard Team (who provided the above summary) had this to say:
"It’s a pretty grim scene inside the team container, not much recognizable except for color – or the steering wheel !
There’s no determination yet of actually what went wrong to cause the lift of the bow pod that caused the loss of control which ended the run.
GPS data has been successfully recovered from the wreck and confirms a 47kt crash at 250m into the 500. The actual run was also averaged (to termination) at around 47kts, somewhat below target of 50. So, if had run full distance, it could have been interestingly close with Finian at 46.82 !!
Late on the night of the crash, picking up MI shrapnel floating in the Inlet,
Simon's famous comment to Tim:" Tim, I think we need a new boat !"
Averaging 47 and in striking distance of 50. These guys are obviously on the right track. Except for that needing a new boat thing, of course...
What Macquarie looks like in one piece...
Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:05 AM
![[Valid Atom]](http://www.wetasschronicles.com/artwork/valid-atom.png "Validate my Atom feed"){kind=small}
