The Wetass Chronicles

Who Are These guys...?

I don't know, but they sure can shoot the basketball. Best not get in a game of HORSE with them. Check it out...

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:34 AM

3 Comments

The Trials Of The Tybee 500...

The Tybee 500 is hard enough without having to contend with massive stinkpots that blow past at close range. But if they behaved they wouldn't be called stinkpots. Here's what happened to our buddy Tad on Team Velocity:

"Once again I'm reminded of the fickleness of mother nature after a day like today. The day began with about 3 knots of wind with some impressive surf. You know its going to be an interesting launch when the local surfers are out just next to the start line. Shortly after the start we popped open the chute and pulled out in front of a couple boats. We were stoked. Wind piped up to 10 knots and more northeasterly with a sloppy 2 to 3 foot chop. It was enough to single trap but still was overpowering in the puffs. We could double trap because it would imbalance the boat. Our good friends at Windy Hill had pulled away from us, but we still had 3 boats behind us when catastrophe struck. We were double trapped and crossing an inlet when a fairly large sportfishing boat crossed our bows no more than 20 feet away. Trey and I exchanged well wishes to each other while we watched the wake quickly approach. I was hooked into the chicken line but Trey was only using footstraps. As the 2nd wake wave submarined our bows, it felt as if we had just been hit by a garbage truck. My chicken line held but Trey was washed off. As he made his way to the leward side of the boat via the trapeze wire, I tried to unhook from the chicken line in time to grab the tiller and put the boat in irons. I was to slow getting in off the trap and she went over. Took us only 5 minutes to right the boat but the energy that is required to perform the maneuver just saps your strength when your dealing with the conditions we were sailing in. It was disappointing only because we finished 12 minutes behind the next boat."

And I thought Rodney Dangerfield was dead. Meanwhile, the SailMax team has put both their boats into the top 5. Nice work...

A More Unusual Tybee Hazard: "Heh-heh. Here they come. Time to warm the water up..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:37 AM

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Here Comes "Maximus" (I Think)...

On May 21, this spanking new New Zealand supermaxi (with the pathetically Freudian name) will hopefully line up against Mari Cha IV in the Rolex Transatlantic Challenge. She was supposed to compete in Antigua race week, but the freighter delivering her from New Zealand broke down. Now, she's scrambling to get to New York in time. Hopefully, she'll make it. And if you want a nice preview of the boat and program, check out this video...

"Hey, guys! I know the boat is big. But we'll never make it to New York in time if you don't hike your lazy asses out..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:43 AM

Annals Of Achievement: Viesturs Summits Annapurna...

Ed Viesturs finally bagged his final 8000er this morning, getting to the summit of Annapurna. He's the first American to nail all 14 (and now we have to wait and see if he will be the first American to summit all 14 AND get back down). Viesturs website doesn't have the report yet. But Explorer's Web does because they've been in sat phone contact with the Italian team (annoying Flash site warning) that led the way, fixing ropes and doing all the hard work...

Are The Italians Taking Light "Alpine Style" Too Far?: "Basta! So I'm not a good packer. You'd think that Ed "Mega-Sponsor" Viesturs could have lent me a shirt at least..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:31 AM

B&Q Nose Job: The Surgeon Appears...

So here's the idiot who clipped Ellen's tri. Nice that he got a bumper right onto her bow...

"Hey, Buddy! Put that bottle down and get your ass out here..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:27 AM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Wetass Video Of The Week (1): Hobie Flying Tiger...

It's a double feature today (see below). When I've got 'em, I post 'em. So we know all about the French Trench, where our man Finian Maynard and his merry band of boardsailors has been busting up the sailing speed record book. But what would it be like to sail something elese on that speed track, say a Hobie Tiger. The answer is: it would be fantastic and exciting, except that you have to be very, very careful. Just check out this video, and see if you can get through it without saying "Holy sh*t!" at least once...

"Ha-ha! I may be flying through the air, but at least the boat is still in the water..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:33 AM

Wetass Video Of The Week (2): Skydying...

When you jump out of planes with a parachute on your back, it's very, very important that you don't, ummm, well watch the video...

Could Be Worse, Though: "Damn. I think I'd rather be that guy in the video..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:26 AM

Annals Of Adventure: Tybee 500 Action...

Today, I have words and pictures, if you are interested in following this beach cat stage race in nose-hair detail. The Catsailor website has the words, with leg reports here, and forum discussion here. And Adventure Online TV (which is an incredible site) has the videos, here. Also, our buddies over at SailMax are doing extensive updates, and note that ol' Tad at Team Velocity suffered a capsize. Tad? Details?...

"Dude, keep the spin trim on. I'm tired and I'd like to sail all the way to the trailer..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:14 AM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Form and Function, Power and Beauty...

Capo di capo photog Carlo Borlenghi was in Brazil to catch the Volvo Open 70 Telefonica Movistar as it loped into Rio. And Melendy Britt from the PR office was kind enough to pass them right along. Very sweet. Suddenly, I'm having trouble sitting quietly at my desk...

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 12:03 PM

Wetass Science Corner: Leapin' Sharks...

What's more ominous than a Great White shark cruising just below the surface? A Great White that is willing to get big air to eat. Check out these incredible photographs from South African photographer Chris Fallows' Apex Predators website. Full gallery is here. Duh-duh. Duh-duh. Duh-duh...

"Okay. Let's loosen up a bit..."

"Yeah, now I'm feeling limber. Warm-up time is over..."

"Hellooo, little seal. Meet my mouth..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:47 AM

Annals Of Oops: Ellen's B&Q Gets An Unwanted Nose Job...

The vaunted Offshore Challenges machine can manage sailing careers, record attempts and sponsorship bonanzas. But even they can't account for idiots in powerboats. And on Sunday one such idiot smacked directly into B&Q's middle bow, while the boat was sitting at her slip in Cowes. You can read all about it here. But here's Ellen on the incident: "It's a busy river here and these things can happen. The main thing is no one was hurt. The focus is now getting her repaired and back in the water." Hmmm, she's being a lot more polite than I would be (or she was in private, I'm betting)...

B&Q's Battered Bow: "Hey, it's a good thing we're sponsored by a hardware conglomerate..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:35 AM

Viesturs V. Annapurna: Stuck At Camp 3...

Ed Viesturs and his team are in Camp 3 at 23,000 feet, waiting for howling winds to die down so they can storm the summit in the next day or two. You can read about how they got there here. The most interesting part, though, is Lindsay Yaw's account of all the running around photographer Jimmy Chin does to take his photos:

Ed and Veikka were quiet, focused on their day's objective, making each step deliberate so as not to falter on the rocky terrain. Do I fire a question and break the silence? I asked myself. After all, I am a journalist, I am here to do just that: Ask questions. I waited a bit for the steep trail to slack off, but couldn't get enough air to ask anything interesting, and was afraid to break their meditative state, anyway.

Jimmy, on the other hand, was doing wind sprints, constantly jogging ahead then waiting, breathing overtime as Veikka and Ed strode past quietly in their logo-clad clothing. Jimmy does this all day, as I've seen it on other assignments we've done together. He runs ahead, lingers in a spot with the perfect backdrop, lighting or composition, then shoots stills, film, and sometimes both before running ahead again, always expending triple the energy to "get the shot." I can barely spit out questions between gasps as I try to stay glued to Ed and Veikka's heels—and Jimmy's doing laps around us.

Chin is a great photographer (go here for a good profile), and now you know why. So when will the push come? Here's an update of what's going on at Camp 3, on Explorer's Web.

Annapurna Dawn: "Jimmy? Jimmy! Wake up...!"

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:11 AM

Monday, May 09, 2005

Surfer Vs. PWC: Duck...!

It's media mad Monday, so let's keep the clips rolling. Check out this sequence of a surfer who almost gets his head taken off by a Jetski. Great video from Surfline, even though they try to overhype the event with a ridiculous after-action interview. These guys talk as if they've been in combat. Pssst. Dude. It's just surfing...

"Oops. This is going to be interesting..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 10:58 AM

505 Fun: Caught On Film...

It's certainly good to be Philippe Kahn, internet billionaire and the impresario behind the Pegasus racing franchise. Kahn loves sailing, and he's into everything from transpac sleds to Farr 40s, to Melges 24s (his son, Shark, won a world championship), to 505s and Finns. Two themes run through his choice of craft: world-class competition and, speed, speed and more speed (though he's not into the multihulls yet). Anyhow, Kahn can go out sailing from his training bases in California and Hawaii whenever he likes (well, almost). And he can have a coach boat along, and that coach boat can film him. He recently found himself in a 505 and some monster winds and waves. So here, on film, is what it is like to be Philippe Kahn.

Clip 1

Clip 2

Clip 3

Looks like fun. Bastard...

"Hey, Philippe! Stop playing with your Blackberry, and drive the boat..."!

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:48 AM

Annals Of Adventure: Tybee 500....

It used to be that the most masochistic sailboat race on the planet was the Worrell 1000, a beach cat marathon from Florida to Virginia. Alas, that insanity is no more. Still, we have the Tybee 500, which runs from Hollywood, Florida to Tybee Island, Georgia. It started yesterday and has the same crude characteristics: big surf, small, fragile boats, brave sailors and lots of crack-ups, dehydration and pain. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Well, two TWC regulars are out there doing the race, which makes me, well, proud. They are Jake Kohl of Team Seacats (sailing as part of the SailMax team), and Tad Pecorak, sailing the race for the first time as part of Team Velocity. Team Velocity had its troubles on leg 1, finishing last, but A) they are out there; and B) you are not. Here's a brief comment from Tad:

"We shoved off (for the 1.5th time...don't ask) with 10 knots blowing directly on the beach. We had drawn the #1 starting position and port tacked our way towards Fowley Rocks Lighthouse. Things were looking good until the fleet hit the miami jetty then it really spread out.

On the way back from the lighthouse we lost our spinnaker tack line and almost torpedoed a sea turtle. Learned quite a few things today about keeping your feet firmly planted on the hulls while trapped out. Tomorrow we leave for Jupiter/Jensen."

And here's the Team SailMax report (Jake is part of SailMax II):

"The trip out to Fowley Light looked as if it prove more lengthy than expected, with the bulk of the pack rounding it at around 3pm. Both team SailMax I and SailMax II rounded the lighthouse in 8th and 7th place, respectively. The first team to hit the beach was Team Tybee, followed closely by Team Morada, with co-skipper Curt Johnson's wife, Denise, jumping up and down with excitement on the beach. It's been such a long time since I've seen anyone quite that happy that I even got a contact happy buzz. Next, was Coconut Grove Sails on the Marstrom 20. A few minutes later we spotted blue hulls and knew it had to be Windy Hill/Jaypro Sports. Their starboard hull was the only damage I saw today, with their rudder torn completely off, but laying up on the trampoline. At least it wasn't lost. I'm not sure what happened to them. I hope there's not a sad sea turtle story there. Then SailMax I made it back, much to our excitement. The guys were flying their spinnaker as they came in, as were most of the teams. St. Louis Cats and Pirates of the Tybeean finished almost simultaneously, which was quite a lot of fun to watch, but the most exciting finish by far was trying to gauge from far away whether or not Key Sailing was going to take SailMax II or the other way around. In the end, what happened was that one of their Jake and Carl's dagger boards was sticking and they had to let out the sail to take off pressure so that they could release it. At that point, Key Sailing came screaming into the beach in a lovely beach landing, followed hotly by my boys. I haven't had a chance to interview Mike and Dave extensively yet about their day, but I hope to over supper and will post more details later. I ran up here just to post the results. I do know that Team SailMax I worked really hard today and made a super advance back up the pack to finish in 5th place after starting in 10th. In the relatively light air with a heavy crew on a newly rigged/re-engineered boat, I feel that Team SailMax II had a respectable finish at 9th place for the first day. Carl and Jake feel optimistic that things will only get better and Mike and Dave are in great spirits as well. "

Turns out that SeaMax II had a crack in the starboard float, which, umm, let a lot of water in. Oops...

"Hey, Jake! I think we're going to need a forklift to get this fu*cker off the beach..."

Posted by Tim Zimmermann @ 9:26 AM