wwwwetass

Thursday, June 30, 2005

King Kong Catfish... 

Don't know why the catfish record always seems to attract alot of media attention, but maybe in this instance it is deserved. Because Thai fishermen in the Mekong Delta landed a monster 646-pounder, believed to be the largest freshwater fish ever caught. Initially, they hoped to sell it to environmentalists, so they could take it back to the river to spawn. But the thing died before any deals could be struck. So they did the next best thing: they cut the bruiser up and sold the meat to local villagers. That's one hell of a catfish fry, and you can read all about it here...

Mutant Freak: "I always suspected this river was radioactive..."

The Multihull Madness Continues.... 

Hydroptere is out. According to the website, last night the mega-foiler hit a UFO (Unidentified Floating Object) and Alain Thebault has been forced to abandon his east-west transatlantic record attempt. At least that's what happened if my minimal understanding of French is correct (I hope it doesn't really say "last night all the crew enjoyed a large roast chicken for dinner"). It's a shame, because they were sailing well. But I can't say it's a surprise. Just think of the forces on the foils and struts when a wave or something hard smacks into them at 30-plus knots. You have to wonder whether they can be beefy enough to survive an ocean crossing yet light enough to keep Hydroptere flying (take it from here all you structural engineers out there).

[Update]: Here's the summary from the website.

Departed from Cadiz on Tuesday morning for the Atlantic crossing, Alain Thébault and his crew are forced to give up after having struck an unidentified floating object yesterday evening, a little earlier before 8.00p.m. The brutal shock occurred while the multihull was progressing at 20-25 knots under the high Grand’Voile et the gennaker at 50 miles from Lanzarote. The crew deplores an impact of the port side foil, which caused a strong torsion in the connection arm. An difficult unfortunate event for the Hydroptère that was on the way to succeed its first Atlantic crossing. Alain Thébault and his team-mates called at Lanzarote and will quickly decide if they repair there or come back to France.

Account of the shock by Alain Thébault:
“ After a careful departure from Cadiz and a day on the sea in a light wind varying from 10 to 15 knots, the Hydroptère began lengthening the tread between 20 and 25 knots of speed under the the high Grand’Voile, gennaker and fore-staysail. The sea was then formed with 2 to 2,5 meters of hollow. We are positioned at 50 miles North from Lanzarote in the Canary Islands. Suddenly we felt a violent schock! Projected against the partition while we were asleep, Jean-Mathieu and I joined Jacques, François and Pollux on the deck. We could see the impact of the Foil and its consequences of the arm. Fortunately, these elements, built by Airbus Nantes, did not suffer that much damage. Only an aluminium vein and the torsion box set at the end of the arm are to be replaced”.


In the meantime, Thomas Coville and Sodebo are almost a 1000 miles into their solo run at Francis Joyon's Route Of Discovery record, with just over 3000 to go. Coville is pretty much hanging onto Joyon's pace, which is a good thing because Joyon had a pretty slow finish.

Joyon will be interested to see how it all turns out (poor guy can never rest; there's always someone stealing his records). But he'll have to keep track by satphone, because Joyon just set out early this morning on from New York in a bid to nail the west/east transatlantic record which has been held for a long, long time (since 1994) by Laurent Bourgnon and Primagaz. This is one of the Big Three (the other two being the solo RTW and 24-hour), and Joyon is hoping for a shot at the solo 24-hour (also held by Bourgnon and set on his 1994 crossing). The numbers Joyon is shooting for: 7 days, 2 hours, 24 minutes, and 540 miles. You can follow M. Joyon's position and track here. I'm pulling for him because Bourgnon has held the record long enough. Plus, I love Joyon for his stolid, Old School approach to sailing and he's going to need a new record if Coville gets lucky with the weather. The only question is whether he'll be able to hang onto it. Ellen will be after this record in the fall, and Coville no doubt will take a crack at it when he heads back across the Atlantic. Solo record setting: it's where all the action is these days...

"The chicken is almost ready, Alain. And you're not going to believe what that idiot at Wetass Chronicles is reporting..."

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride... 

Since I'm posting so much video today, I can't resist adding this quick and excellent skiff wipeout, submitted by TWC reader Scott Muir. I guess it was take off the heads of the powerboaters or crash..

Skiffin': "Whatever you do, Dude, don't touch the mark..."

More Monster Multihull Mania... 

De Kersauson and his big tri Geronimo are one week and 3000 miles into their circumnavigation of Australia. Go here for a great, no superb, tracking program (Attention race organizers, particularly NYYC! They're out there. You just have to pay attention...) that has all the stats (just put the cursor over a boat position). Barring breakdown a record is a foregone conclusion. But it's always fun to see what these beasts are like when they are powered up and Geronimo is uploading some cool video. Click here, and then here, to go sailing with the devilish DeK...

"Stupid fu*cker thinks he can land on the nets..."

Monster Multi Match Race... 

After a day of moderately fast sailing, Sodebo and Hydroptere are 500-plus miles down the track. You can watch a video of Sodebo's departure here (Just asking: Why would you shoot a departure video that didn't include footage of the boat crossing the damn start line? Possible answer: French cinema has always been famously non-conformist...). Both boats are gybing their way toward the Canaries, with the wind up the tailpipe. Sodebo logged a 473-mile 24-hour run, and has 3362 miles to go. She's averaged 19.8 knots so far (Fossett's outright record run averaged 16.92 but they were very fast over this portion of the course). Hydroptere logged a 441-mile 24-hour run and has 3396.4 miles to go (averaging 18.6 knots so far). I'm impressed Hydroptere is hanging in there...

"Mon Dieu, Alain! We might as well be on a beach cat..."

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Monster Multihull Match Race... 

Just feeeel the alliteration. Sometimes fate, weather and human ambition present the rest of us with a grand spectacle, an unexpected diversion...an excellent excuse (I'm really rolling with this alliteration thing....) to travel via computer to a time and place that is far, far from our cloistered cubicles (he scores again...). And today we have the happy coincidence that two extraordinary sailing machines have left Cadiz, Spain and set out on Route Of Discovery in search of speed, satisfaction and, possibly, a world record for the fastest crossing of the Atlantic, east to west. They are bound for San Salvador in the Bahamas, and machine #1 was introduced to you last week: the ever-interesting, ever-fragile, foil-freak known as Hydroptere. (In case you missed it, click here for an awesome video of Hydroptere at speed). Machine #2 is a more traditional, yet still awe-inspiring, ORMA 60 trimaran, one Sodebo, skippered by world-class French skipper Thomas Coville. Coville is after Francis Joyon's solo crossing record of 11 days, 3 hours, seventeen minutes. Hydroptere is after the outright record of 9 days, 13 hours, 30 minutes. Sodebo appears to be averaging about 20 knots, and Hydroptere looks to be doing about 15. This should be a spectacular match race (though my money is on Sodebo). Some web wizard out there should do us all a favor and set up a chart that tracks both these boats together...

Sizzling Sodebo: "Forget it, Hydroptere. Real records require real boats..."

Annals Of Adventure: Storm Chasers... 

Are you tired of your suburban hamster wheel life? Do you yearn for the open road, the funk of roadside bars and motels, the crash of thunder, and the chaos of big weather? Well, there is a group of crazed storm chasers out there, living life on the road and always in search of The Big One. And you can ride along with them via this great LA Times profile of Mark Svenvold, author of "Big Weather: Chasing Tornadoes in the Heart of America." It's a wild, crowded ride, with storm junkies from all over the world racing around the American Midwest hoping to get sucked into a massive funnel cloud. Here's the scene:

By 3 p.m., storms are collecting to the left and right of us. A big anvil shape, white flat-bottomed with a puffy soft top, looms over the windshield. It begins a ghostlike spiraling and then fades. Suddenly, it's as if all the clouds are spiraling. Outside the car, the wind changes. The air is slightly warmer, pouring along at 60 mph, feeding the storm ahead.

The Dopplers are deployed and spinning and triangulating. Gusts tear through tall grass as we pass through Akron, Colo., population 4,662, about 100 miles east of Denver. Every nerve cell has been activated.

"SLCs," says Svenvold. "Scary Looking Clouds."

But the storm is having trouble organizing. The convoy stops on the side of the road to watch.

"Just do it," yells a student, a yellow bandanna tied around his neck. A deep aquamarine section forms within the dark grayness of the clouds, a beckoning, seductive place. The storm is a little more than one mile away. Lightning strikes seem immaterial to the bigger purpose. Someone spots a new base, a new cell forming from the old cell. It's coming in from the north on a storm moving east. High winds are blowing slushy hail.

"We're gonna get smacked by outflow in a second," yells Wurman, and sure enough, a gust of rapidly cooling air swirls around him. It's not a promising sign.

"It's a weak rotation," someone yells.

"Do it! Just do it!" yells the guy in the yellow bandanna, frustration edging into his voice.

And then there is silence.


These guys should try following my 3-year-old daughter, a creator of epic storms and shocking chaos...

The Hunted: A tornado spins toward the ground in Claflin, Kansas...

The Hunter: "Heh-heh. Too bad the grunts in Iraq don't have armor like this..."
(Photo 1: Patrick Richardson / AP - Great Bend Tribune; Photo 2: George Wilhelm / LAT)

Monday, June 27, 2005

America's Cup Action: Let's Go To Video Tape... 

Act V of the Louis Vuitton Cup is now finished with the win going to Italy's Luna Rossa thanks to a technical protest against the boat that actually won on the water, Sweden's Victory Challenge. Hey, it's the America's Cup. The protest room is always part of the action. But forget about the details, and instead enjoy the sight of America's Cup class boats going at each other in some fleet racing. Click here, and then here. Good vids, but bad, bad, ultra-pretentious soundtrack (at least isn't Euro techno-pop). Nice to be able to watch from 3000 miles away...

"Uh-oh. A crowded leeward mark rounding could get very expensive..."

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